[nextlevelwizard]

If I became so disabled that I couldn't function in a social setting then please just end me. I don't want to be some vegetable that someone else needs to look after 24/7. I want to be productive, I want to be liked, I want to be free.

Whatever you are describing does not fill any of those fields. At that point I'd be complete burden and I wouldn't want that on anyone.

[deeblering4]

I've met plenty of NT people who have got too drunk or emotional in social settings and need support from others to stop making a scene. Is that functional behavior? Should they end themselves?

Your comment is very nearsighted and for some reason compares inability to "function" in a social setting with being "some vegetable" who is in a coma? What are you even talking about?

[bayesian_horse]

That attitude just becomes a burden on everyone else, particularly those around you

[nextlevelwizard]

>That attitude

The attitude of wanting to be charge of your life and not a burden to others around you? Or did I just completely misunderstand what you tried to say? Because that doesn't make any sense at all.

[bayesian_horse]

You didn't say you want to be in charge of your life and not a burden. You said you'd rather want to be dead than a "burden" to others.

The way relationships especially with family works is that they'd usually rather have you be "a burden" than dead.

Also it is very hard not to project that attitude on other people who would be "a burden to others". It is hard for them not to think you want them dead or at least find them extremely worthless.

[nextlevelwizard]

As someone who recently had to watch a family member completely deteriorate I am comfortable that mixed in with the grief was relief. Of course I would rather have them back, but knowing the condition they were in my selfishness isn't fair towards them and if anything their passing showed me that if possible I want to go out on my own terms from my two standing feet instead of bed ridden and hospitalized.

[bayesian_horse]

So I hope what you are saying is that this "deterioration" was genuine suffering like disease and pain, and not just some behavior or social state you believed to be burdensome on you.

But that just isn't the same. Wishing somebody to die - because of intense and hopeless suffering - is in my opinion neither something to be judged nor to be enthusiastically welcomed. I think we should ideally neither wish suffering nor death to anyone. These can become conflicting goals, when death seems to be the only relief from the suffering. As a veterinary student I have killed animals to relieve them from suffering. Veterinary professionals have some of the highest suicide rates in many countries, one suspected reason being compassion fatigue. The only way I see to avoid the emotional consequences is to try and not "wish" either death nor prolonged suffering.

There are a lot of reasons for "being a burden" that don't involve nearly as much suffering and don't instill a will to die in people. Accepting that you sometimes (and almost inevitably, with age) you become a burden to society is hard. But the perception of "burden" often ignores intangible aspects. Not everyone who "is a burden" feels depressed about it, and I don't believe all of them to be selfish.

That is why I believe "I'd rather die than be a burden" is a burden to oneself and others.

[nextlevelwizard]

All we can do is to agree to disagree. I know that if I couldn't communicate and needed someone to take care of me 24/7 then I'd rather be dead.