| > You are half-way through a change. Your old motivations have lost their appeal. I think I'm in the same boat as the OP, and this comment resonated with me. When I started programming nearly a decade ago, I had an abundance of intrinsic motivation. I was so excited to learn about software, how to build websites, phone applications, server applications etc. That drive was a genuine passion and love for computers and software and it carried me nearly a decade in this industry through some amazing challenges. I've grown more than I could have imagined. Yet now in my mid 30s... that passion has really dwindled. When I wake up on a Saturday, I'm not rushing to get to my computer to code. I'm more interested in relaxing, getting outside, or just doing something else. Yet in the back of my mind is a constant pressure, a constant reminder, that I should be productive. There's always more to learn, and didn't I struggle to write that regex the other day? Didn't I want to finally dig deep into Tensor Flow? Wasn't I going to bust out the breadboard and get into some hardware design? Why don't I feel like doing any of that now? Why is the only motivation, money? Like the OP, the only thing that seems like it could light a fire under my ass would be some big monetary opportunity. I could get excited to build a new app, or a new server project, or website, if I knew I stood a good chance of really changing my life for the better. I think that as the novelty of programming wore off, the only thing left was money. Initially I was motivated by wanting to understand everything. I truly didn't know how to make a phone application, and now I've made many. I didn't understand how to build and deploy a website, and now I've done that many times. What's left? Where do I go from here? I really have more questions than answers. With another 25-30 years of "work" to do, I'm really confused about what I will do. |
For me, that feeling of struggling to care can be an early symptom of burnout. My sustained interest in building comes from a cycle of small successes. Getting each little thing working can be a little victory. Putting it in the hands of people and seeing it benefit them, even more so. Each little victory is banking a bit of positive association for later.
But if I force myself to do the work past the point where I enjoy it, I start drawing down that positive association. That can be fine if it pays off in a larger victory later, or if I otherwise keep the balance positive. If not, eventually the work becomes joyless and then will-sapping.
I'm sure some will scoff at trying to maintain joy in the work rather than toughing it out. But I don't think toughness is enough to sustain a career in software. At this point I've changed my primary language 5 times, and I'm sure I'll do it once or twice more. And who knows how many frameworks and libraries I've had to learn over the years. To sustain that level of learning, I think we have to learn to preserve the curiosity that got us into the work in the first place.