[pancaku]

I would suggest toning this down it’s really painful to read your self flagellation all over Hackernews. Your tone comes across as people in non Amazon FANGs are gods.

I’ve worked at both FB/Apple in the ML space and have been promoted multiple times. I can promise you people aren’t throwing themselves at my feet to bow down to my amazing intellect. I do not sit and laugh with my heaps of cash at the poor peasants who only make 100K a year. My life is not perfect! People in FANG are not perfect, a lot of the tech there is also not special at all.

Stop obsessing over your career I can promise you no one is paying attention to where you work so closely. Get some friends you’ll see how little this matters. I have many CS friends in non FANG jobs and I do not care where they work nor think less of them. They’re some of the smartest and happiest people I know. Do you really judge people who don’t work at FANG like you judge yourself, because that really makes you a rude misguided person.

By the way I went to a state school not even in the top 50. I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world, I had an amazing time. No one cares where you went to school two years after you graduated. And no one definitely cares about your SAT scores how do you even remember that anymore?!? Seek professional help, stop whining so much, and do something else besides freaking out about Amazon.

[rejectedandsad]

I mean, to people like me they might as well be. Even if people don't bow down to you, it's still better than being dismissed and ridiculed for only making $200k at Amazon from a state school with a < $300k net worth. Fwiw, my smartest friends all work at better companies than me (Google, FB, Airbnb, trading firms) and make quite a bit more than me - somewhere between $80-250k. If anything that makes me feel worse. I have friends that are students and they're all miserable, poor, and I can't really do things with them for a lack of money on their part. On the other hand, I can't do anything with my richer friends because I lack money and can't go on expensive vacations or do expensive activities. It's not great for me. It obviously doesn't help that everyone assumes people like me to be stupid, again, due to my lack of pedigree - every year of my (top 200? 250?) undergrad felt like a stab in the chest, I worked so hard to get so little (a resume that can't get me an interview at Jane Street and or a shot at a top school's grad program). I honestly don't have much hope for the future anymore as a loser in meritocracy. There's just no point if anything I do is just going to lead to the same suffering and derision from the meritocrat elites.

[pancaku]

You’re missing my point.

You say “ It obviously doesn't help that everyone assumes people like me to be stupid, again, due to my lack of pedigree”. I am telling you with 100% certainty this is false. People do not think like this.

You should seek therapy to challenge these assumptions you hold.

If I can give you one more anecdotal evidence my partner works at Amazon. I make more than them by over 100K. I do not care, I do not view them any differently. My partner is also proud of their job and likes it. They are smarter than me, it’s just through various circumstances I got a higher paying job. They actually don’t want to leave Amazon right now. They are not depressed that I make more than them. I also try and model my life after them because I view them as more successful than me at life.

Also your friends sound crazy it they are going on trips that you cannot afford on 200K salary. You can definitely afford a few trips to Hawaii a year. Also going out to eat, movies, shopping, camping, hanging out, video gaming etc. are all activities you could do year round on your salary.

I’m done talking back and forth but if I could give you one last message. Use Amazon’s insurance to see a therapist (my partner does and it’s covered). Show them your hacker news comments. Just see what they say. I promise you, you will feel better about these thoughts a few months in the future if you do.

[pancaku]

By the way, the reason why I took the time to write out such a long response, is I worry about people like my partner who might read this. While they are quite mentally healthy and I’m sure would brush off your comments I can see someone else slipping into your mindset and getting stressed.

Comments like “FANG gods, I make only 200K, etc.” are really out of touch. I actually hope you someday get a job at Google/Apple/etc. and see that it really is not all that it’s cracked up to be :)