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by rejectedandsad
1811 days ago
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I mean, to people like me they might as well be. Even if people don't bow down to you, it's still better than being dismissed and ridiculed for only making $200k at Amazon from a state school with a < $300k net worth. Fwiw, my smartest friends all work at better companies than me (Google, FB, Airbnb, trading firms) and make quite a bit more than me - somewhere between $80-250k. If anything that makes me feel worse. I have friends that are students and they're all miserable, poor, and I can't really do things with them for a lack of money on their part. On the other hand, I can't do anything with my richer friends because I lack money and can't go on expensive vacations or do expensive activities. It's not great for me. It obviously doesn't help that everyone assumes people like me to be stupid, again, due to my lack of pedigree - every year of my (top 200? 250?) undergrad felt like a stab in the chest, I worked so hard to get so little (a resume that can't get me an interview at Jane Street and or a shot at a top school's grad program). I honestly don't have much hope for the future anymore as a loser in meritocracy. There's just no point if anything I do is just going to lead to the same suffering and derision from the meritocrat elites. |
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You say “ It obviously doesn't help that everyone assumes people like me to be stupid, again, due to my lack of pedigree”. I am telling you with 100% certainty this is false. People do not think like this.
You should seek therapy to challenge these assumptions you hold.
If I can give you one more anecdotal evidence my partner works at Amazon. I make more than them by over 100K. I do not care, I do not view them any differently. My partner is also proud of their job and likes it. They are smarter than me, it’s just through various circumstances I got a higher paying job. They actually don’t want to leave Amazon right now. They are not depressed that I make more than them. I also try and model my life after them because I view them as more successful than me at life.
Also your friends sound crazy it they are going on trips that you cannot afford on 200K salary. You can definitely afford a few trips to Hawaii a year. Also going out to eat, movies, shopping, camping, hanging out, video gaming etc. are all activities you could do year round on your salary.
I’m done talking back and forth but if I could give you one last message. Use Amazon’s insurance to see a therapist (my partner does and it’s covered). Show them your hacker news comments. Just see what they say. I promise you, you will feel better about these thoughts a few months in the future if you do.