One thing to try is talking to a therapist about all this. There are a number of conditions that can lead someone to a life like yours, most of which can be managed with some coping skills.
Therapist might help. Ppl have told me to do that, and I guess I’ve technically been once or twice a long time ago before I could make the decision myself
BUT… I don’t think there is necessarily anything wrong with OP for feeing this. There’s a reason why Office Space is popular. I sometimes think there’s something wrong with the people I know who like their bullshit jobs or take their work seriously. Either deluded or really good at acting.
A different perspective always helps. I know someone who had issues focusing and deferring gratification, she’s doing better now. I am not diagnosing and this is just a random example where therapy helped... bTW, my dad retired without knowing what he “really” wanted to do...
I'm open to it. Do you do it? Can you give me an example or recommendation? Where I get hung up on therapy is that there's 100 different types. And it's an expensive endeavor to have so much leeway.
Many clinics offer free mental health screenings (also called needs assessments) so you don’t have to get hung up on deciding what ‘type’ of therapy to try—they will interview you and offer a recommendation based on what you’re having trouble with and who at the clinic might be a good fit for your personality. Just call some place in your area that is reputable, or get a recommendation from your GP.
If you have insurance and a primary care doctor, ask them for a referral. If not, you don't need someone with a specialization to start, find a "therapist". There's that talkspace online option as well.
BUT… I don’t think there is necessarily anything wrong with OP for feeing this. There’s a reason why Office Space is popular. I sometimes think there’s something wrong with the people I know who like their bullshit jobs or take their work seriously. Either deluded or really good at acting.