[throwaway803453]

After optimizing my diet, sleep, and exercise, I learned my mood and energy levels were always primarily related to two things:

1) Working hard but nothing to show for it. If I get stuck too long on a problem, I now work on a simpler problem or take a break. Otherwise I just wind-up depressed and tired.

2) Interactions with people. I am aware of when interactions with co-workers, family members, etc. turn from energizing to energy draining and then either end the interaction or ask them to avoid this topic in the future.

[someelephant]

I applaud your ability to recognize topics you don't like but it's worthwhile to ask yourself if you are avoiding those topics because they are not worth your time or because they make you uncomfortable. Without exploring that discomfort -- even just on your own -- those topics will always haunt you.

[tharkun__]

Not OP here.

Meh ;)

I doubt all of them will always haunt. I could probably see what you mean in some instances. In many others absolutely no. Just ending it is fine. Like talking to HR. They're usually more than useless and just take up your time for no good reason. If you can end a conversation early or satisfy whatever they make you do to the letter and the letter only, go for it, don't ever think about it ever again.

I've had literally one HR person in my career so far that seemed to actually care about people and tried to make things better. And one other that was at least good at her job and did what she promised though the circumstances we needed to work together for weren't the nicest experience (for both of us, coz we had to lay off a bunch of people)

[throwaway803453]

I think it boils down to bad faith, dishonest, or hypocritical conversations. Why explore that further especially if you previously set boundaries, explained the dishonesty or hypocrisy, and they still bring it up ?

[Edited: TMI]

[lanstin]

And having these assholes around one leads to measurable declines in health over the decades. I don’t have an answer. When I was young I thought we could argue them into decency, then for a while I thought the new people are better than the dying people, Now I try to speak out to protect people from th anssholes, without arguing, just actions. Also tho relatives are especially hard to avoid. My wife and I are both many thousands of miles away from our family. It helps.

[vagab0nd]

I cannot upvote this more. Are you me? I've identified these 2 exact things as my sources of misery.

Unfortunately, both of them are kind of unavoidable if you work for someone else.