[mumblemumble]

There's a saying therapists use, "What we resist persists."

The research has shown that being open with others about your experience alleviates the symptoms of depression, including constant rumination. Putting on a happy face for the benefit of others, on the other hand, tends to make it much, much worse.

There are of course confounding factors like whether the person has a victimization complex or whatever, but those need to be handled on their own terms. I don't personally experience anything like that, so I don't know much about it, but my guess is that they would also generally be exacerbated by encouraging people not to talk about it.

[gonehome]

Yeah I agree with you - I think what I'm trying to say is more nuanced and super easy to misinterpret (even in good-faith).

It's not about putting a happy face on, but about seeing yourself as a 'depressed person' or as having depression being a core part of your identity. I think that can be harmful - and lead to weird psychologies where being depressed is more comfortable in a way, more familiar.

Being open/honest is good, but making being depressed part of the way you see 'who you are' is likely bad (imo).

Hypervigilance [0] is also a thing - and it can make things worse.

[0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance

[mumblemumble]

Frankly, it is a core part of one's identity. It's not just feeling sad sometimes. It's a chronic condition that colors everything about how you see and experience the world. If you forget that or ignore it, it starts to take over, and your grip on reality is liable to start to erode.

[gonehome]

I think whether or not you make something part of your identity is a choice. This sounds like our core disagreement.

I think choosing to have something bad be part of the core of how you view yourself is harmful. There’s some evidence to back this up iirc (things like people involved in shootings being interviewed immediately after and then again months later - those that had issues recovering made it part of their identity, those that didn’t - didn’t).

If there are strategies to avoid harm I want to know what those are. If there are bad strategies I want to throw them away.

People can do what they want, but I wonder if defending and reinforcing someone’s identity as a victim does more harm than good.

In general I think people are way overconfident about what the “right” thing is here and what’s actually happening or what the best way to get out of it is.

[vergessenmir]

If I read it right she didn't say it was chronic, unless I missed that.

It may have been episodal which happens to most people at some point in their.

I can understand the approach ( and not necessarily agree) if it were a chronic life long condition.

[mumblemumble]

Perhaps I misused the word chronic. It certainly doesn't always have to be lifelong.

But, even if it's not lifelong, it still is. One's identity is constantly changing. Suggesting that a part of a person's identity doesn't really count as much because that part of them might change a few years down the line is an act of erasure. It's a microaggresion directed at the person they are right here and right now. People who experience mood disorders are already swimming in a sea of social stigma; we could really use a little bit less rejection, well-intentioned or otherwise.

[shkkmo]

The post strongly implies she has been dealing with depression for 5 and a half years at this point.

[shkkmo]

Yet I see multiple comments warning about making depression part of your identity in response to a blog post that is pretty focused on why it is important to talk about experiencing depression.

I feel like the nuance is being lost in the opposite direction here.

[threwway]

>The research has shown that being open with others about your experience alleviates the symptoms of depression, including constant rumination.

Hello! Could you direct me to said research if you know where it is? I'm not aware of it, and haven't seen it recommended anywhere. I'd be genuinely interested to know if it checks out.