[_fat_santa]

I agree with your first two points. Starting a business is hard, you'll probably fail (statistically) and there is likely someone else doing it better than you already. But part of starting a business is looking at that adversity and doing it anyways.

Your third point about dating, I couldn't disagree more. If you go on social media you will see arguments very similar to the one you made, basically if you aren't an athlete/millionaire/etc, don't even bother. I think these arguments come from a bitter place and as a result generalize women in general. I'm an average looking dude, certainly not a millionaire, but I go on dates pretty much every week with different women. I found that it's all about just putting yourself out there.

[bradlys]

Where do you live? This has not been my experience on the west coast.

You might be underselling yourself. In any major city, being average isn’t sufficient. You’re just swiped over for the next guy who is above average. (They always exist on the apps, nearly infinite amount)

[The5thElephant]

Somehow there are an endless number of men who are above average? Isn't that a self defeating point and mathematically impossible?

You realize many women feel this exact same way about being ignored because men just want models out of their league?

[bradlys]

On dating apps, there are to most people an endless amount. You can just keep swiping. Very few people will swipe through the 200k+ dating profiles available in their area. Thus, endless…

Regardless of how women feel men are acting towards them, the stats don’t lie, women receive far more swipes than men. Something like 36x more.

[_fat_santa]

I live over on the East Coast. I'd say that I look average, but its also about the profile and how you sell yourself.

(This is pure speculation based on my experiences) Out here I've noticed that Tinder and Bumble are just terrible to use, Hinge though seems to be the sweet spot. The problem I see with Tinder and Hinge is with the swiping, it turns it into a game of sorts where you're playing whose post attractive based on the number of points (matches) you get. With how Hinge is setup, I get fewer matches, but of those matches, I end up going on first dates much more often.

I also found that it's about playing the algorithm a bit and making sure your profile is setup right, think of it in terms conversion rate (from being in the "This person liked you" section to matching with someone). Before I started having success I went through probably 10+ iterations and tweaks to my profile to see what worked and what didn't. I also found that sometimes the algorithm just said F you and pushed me down to the bottom of the stack. In that case delete your profile and recreate it, I've had to do this once.

[erhk]

Go outside. Stop using apps. Unless youre incredibly attractive you always will get beaten by the person who makes a move in the real world. Hetero dating is gendered and apps remove the steps that a hetero man has to take, theres not much incentive for a woman who is already hit on regularly to use a dating app.

[bradlys]

I wouldn’t say that’s really universally true. I’ve found many people who met their long term partner online and had a plethora of people coming up to them. I’d say sometimes online is better for particular interests. (Depends on the app)

Outside is quite overrated. Unless you’re in a particular niche where forced interaction is a thing or you’re exposed to an endless amount of people who are interested in partnering, you’re going to have a bad time. (Even compared to online dating, the real world sucks a lot more these days for the average man - as you’re always competing with both even if you opt out of one) Add on the typical issues we have in our culture and well - it’s practically taboo to approach people these days out of the blue outside an app.

I’ve got a lot of experience with online and offline (“outside”) and both are quite horrific for the average man. Hell, I’m exceptional in some areas and I have had a hell of a hard time anyway. People really want their niche - whatever that is.

I’ve been fortunate to find someone and mostly fit their niche but it was a long road. A lot of people who wanted everything and expected to give nothing.

[chewz]

There is big difference between going on dates every week and finding a woman that will treat you as a potential life partner and father for her children...

[dougmwne]

I think this is a huge distinction. Stable career prospects are a huge factor in choosing a partner. And the HN poster you are replying to probably has better career prospects than most. The millionaire talking point seems like a distraction. The point is that many men have zero career prospects, and probably have a pretty terrible dating pool as a result. This all hangs together, no job, no partner, no kids, no home.