[superzamp]

Lowkey status reports are the norm now :)

"some users may experience degraded service" => site completely down for all locations

[sdflhasjd]

I fully expect that if I find a "major outage" on Slack's status page that it could only mean the outbreak of nuclear war.

[TheDauthi]

"Some users may experience brief service disruption."

[tommica]

"By the account of them and us being completely vaporized"

[jconnop]

I was going to link the appropriate XKCD where organised attackers are panicing as they realise they're dealing with a sysadmin muttering about uptime..

.. but of course XKCD is down too.

e: https://xkcd.com/705/

[perryizgr8]

"Only the last couple seconds of their lives."

[spoonalious]

Or the AWS typical status of ‘seeing increased error rates on the API’ = us-east-1 is dead

[maccard]

At least that's accurate. "Degraded performance" would imply to me that things are functional, but slow. increased error rates can be anything from "try again" to ":shrug:"

[meowface]

"We're investigating reports of intermittent connectivity issues" => transatlantic cables cut, WWIII imminent

[weird-eye-issue]

Well to be fair some users were not accessing the site at that time

[strictfp]

Yeah, that's my experience as well. I thought it meant "we have no idea what's going on" though.