[ultrastable]

HN relationship thread bingo card:

- pointless statistical analyses - creepy transactional views of intimacy - facile evo-psych explanations of sexual attraction - misogynist ressentiment - the plight of the incel as today's #1 social issue - mechanistic proposed solutions to loneliness which will benefit neither the men using them or the women they're used on

am I forgetting anything?

[dang]

"Please don't sneer, including at the rest of the community."

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

[duckmysick]

> am I forgetting anything?

Meta comments about HN relationship threads.

[hector124]

One of the nice things about this site is that reading the comments is totally optional. Since it sounds like you already knew what you were going to find here, maybe everyone would have been better off if you’d simply moved along without complaining?

[notacoward]

Thinly disguised brags about dating success?

[wayneftw]

> am I forgetting anything?

Yes, you're forgetting to be curious.

[bs_alumna]

Soliciting feedback is an indicator of curiosity.

[wayneftw]

Perhaps, if it were said unsarcastically.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case here. They didn't actually think they missed anything.

Looking at the rest of the comments in this thread though, I don't see many that fit their narrative at all. So in reality, they missed the boat entirely.

[ultrastable]

not claiming the things I listed make up all or even most of threads on my subject, just that they seem to show up every time

[wayneftw]

Sorry, but I don't believe you. You said "HN relationship bingo card" and you play Bingo in one sitting, on one day and not across multiple threads. Perhaps it's just a bad analogy.

If you think you're doing well [0] with these kinds of comments, then I'm fine with that :) Have a good one!

> Be kind. Don't be snarky. Have curious conversation; don't cross-examine. Please don't fulminate. Please don't sneer, including at the rest of the community.

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

[IQunder130]

>creepy transactional views of intimacy

The rest of your points are entirely valid, but this is absolutely not. Every living thing with a brain is in some sense acting as a utility maximizer. If you're not getting something you want out of a relationship, you won't partake it in it. Denying this is delusional.

[ben_w]

> Denying this is delusional

But the delusion is a useful one which boosts reproductive success, presumably because humans take a long time to become independent, so its absence is creepy.

(Does this count as an example of “facile evo-psych explanations of sexual attraction”?)

[IQunder130]

Just because your armchair evopsych swings the other way doesn't make it any more valid.

[ben_w]

‘Course not. Regardless, I observe[0] that people find transactional attitudes towards intimacy to be creepy — denouncing people for feeling thusly does not make them like it.

[0] I am aware this is mere anecdotes

[username90]

Similarly telling men that they are creepy for liking young slim women wont make them like old fat women more. People don't discuss these things to get laid, they do it because discussing things is fun.