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by reader_mode
1904 days ago
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>Sure everyone struggles, but imagine those struggles cranked up by 20x. You overthink EVERYTHING, you're driven by random impulses that make you focus on something new and shiny, that make you yourself believe that this is not an impulsive, but this time something worth committed to it, just to lose interest 2 weeks later. I'm still having a hard time seeing this as a debilitating condition, I can relate to all the things you said and undoubtably taking drugs like modafinil or ritalin turn me super productive and focused, but I don't want to be medicating day in day out, tolerance grows too fast. End of the day responsibilities forced me to stick with things after I lose interest, sure I may be 20% as productive as I would be if I was super interested and I spend 80% of the time distracted because I'm bored, but 100% is usually 5x of what people consider the norm anyway. |
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You don’t see it as debilitating because you don’t experience it. You’re describing the experience of your chemical reaction to drugs that treat a chemical deficiency you don't have, of course you react differently!
When I take amphetamines as prescribed and coordinated with my doctor, I don’t feel more productive or focused. I feel like the entire act of living isn’t a completely impossible catastrophe. I feel like I can speak to humans without collapsing into a trembling ball of anxious angry sadness. I feel like I can get to the store and back without a complete meltdown. I feel almost normal. Without it I’m lucky if I can get through the day without hoping I wouldn’t. Now do you get it?