[eyelidlessness]

> I'm still having a hard time seeing this as a debilitating condition, I can relate to all the things you said and undoubtably taking drugs like modafinil or ritalin turn me super productive and focused, but I don't want to be medicating day in day out, tolerance grows too fast.

You don’t see it as debilitating because you don’t experience it. You’re describing the experience of your chemical reaction to drugs that treat a chemical deficiency you don't have, of course you react differently!

When I take amphetamines as prescribed and coordinated with my doctor, I don’t feel more productive or focused. I feel like the entire act of living isn’t a completely impossible catastrophe. I feel like I can speak to humans without collapsing into a trembling ball of anxious angry sadness. I feel like I can get to the store and back without a complete meltdown. I feel almost normal. Without it I’m lucky if I can get through the day without hoping I wouldn’t. Now do you get it?