[minitech]

> I was reading comments in another HN thread, and one poster suggested that this might arise from raising kids without bullying. Like the immune system, if we don't develop a central tolerance, perhaps we start attacking everything we find unpleasant? No basis in behavioral science, of course.

Forget basis in behavioral science, this has no basis in anything, and you’re deluded if you think kids aren’t still bullied today. What a trash take.

[the-dude]

The environment is profoundly different today than say, 40 years ago. Being different is much easier today.

I was seduced by my parents to join a Judo club so I could stand up to myself ( this works wonders ).

Last year, I confronted a new millenial neighbour of mine repeatedly on her behaviour of biking on the sidewalk. The biggest problem was she was doing blind corners as well. There are small children here playing, we have elderly with walking aids. It was dangerous.

She called the police on me.

[minitech]

Setting aside the issue of whether inconsiderate use of vehicles is a newly millennial phenomenon for the moment and considering what this is in reply to: are you saying that the situation could have been avoided if your neighbour had been bullied enough as a child?

[the-dude]

No, I am saying it seems like some millenials seem unaware of the possible consequences of their behaviour to others and to themselves.

And if there is a confrontation, they'll report you to their teacher ( police ).

While when I grew up, when I misbehaved in traffic, say concerning a taxi(cab), the driver would stop, make his opinion loudly heard, perhaps accompanied by a threat of violence ( this actually happened ).

But now we are in a situation where neighbours can not confront each other anymore, and the preferred course of action is a mediator ( teacher / police ).

[ganafagol]

So instead of calling a mediator you would have preferred if she had taken matters in her own hands and tried to beat you up? Upon which you'd have hit back in self defense?

Of course that's not what you mean. I suppose you mean that instead of crying for help from the teacher she should have just swallowed it up and obeyed you.

But it goes both ways. Imagine you had a teenage daughter and she'd be accused of something, in her mind unrightfully, by some asshole neighbor. Would you like her to just swallow it up and do what he says? Or fight back, risking injury? Or call a mediator? That's the point of view of your neighbor.

If anything growing up with bullies teaches is that in the long run, only standing up to them works. But that's not what you'd actually how you'd have liked your millenial neighbor to react to you.

(I'm not saying you are the bully here. I'm totally with you on calling her out. But your "growing up with bullies" analogy is way off here and you need to consider all sides before drawing broad conclusions.)

[the-dude]

I appreciate your response. What I find puzzling about most responses is that it is not fully acknowledged that she is already behaving violently by threatening injury to others by using her vehicle as a weapon basically. If you hit an elderly full-front with a bicycle, I wouldn't be surprised if they died of the consequences.

And you are correct I am not promoting bullying, that would be insane. But total non-violence has its negative consequences too.

[ganafagol]

Her being violent is just your view though. It's not hers. Thus calling a mediator here.

I'd honestly like to hear how you'd have liked her to respond instead of calling the cops. Be silent?

And I'd also honestly like to know how you'd expect your teenage daughter to react if some bully comes and accuses her of something unrightfully, from her perspective.

The answer to both has to be the same since it's the same story, but from different perspectives.

Apparently you don't like "call a mediator" as an answer, presumambly because that answer is only because somebody grew up without a bully and thus has not learned how to handle this kind of thing on their own.

Obviously "fight back" can't be the answer here since you would not have liked that with your neighbor. But "keep silent" can't be the answer either that you are requesting.

So, which is it?

[gjulianm]

I think everyone here is better off by not drawing broad conclusions about behavior based on anecdotes. I am sure that a lot of people born in the 50s and 60s would have called the police in the same situation you describe.

> No, I am saying it seems like some millenials seem unaware of the possible consequences of their behaviour to others and to themselves.

Yes, this happens with every generation. Now what does that have to do with the idea that "bullying made society better"? I mean, you know that quite a lot of people have serious psychological consequences from bullying, some people have even killed themselves, right? It's not something to joke about, and if (and that's a big if) the price to pay to stop bullying is having someone call the police on a discussion, I would gladly pay it a hundred times over.

[hutzlibu]

So with your martial arts training you confronted your neighbour - and she called the police?

Well, maybe you should try talking calmly next time, then maybe others feel not threatened enough to call the police.

Otherwise you have the right to call the police if she insists on being a threat to the children around.

[Daho0n]

A confrontation with "martial arts training" is being mindful and resting in yourself. You try to make it sound like it is behaving aggressively and ready for violence. That's the opposite of what you learn and the risk of someone behaving like this is way higher in those without martial arts training.

Besides, I bet you are fully aware that the point GP was making was that his training made him dare say something where he before wouldn't.

[hutzlibu]

I train martial arts since being a small boy and no one ever called the police because of me. So I am not sure about that:

"Besides, I bet you are fully aware that the point GP was making was that his training made him dare say something where he before wouldn't. "

And I know a lot of people, bolstering their martial arts skills to impress and supress people. Once or twice I had to restrain some.

Still - repeatedly engaged talking to someone who don't wants to be talked with - can be defined as harrasment either way. And close to self justice in this case.

I know the urge for it sometimes. But .. that just means trouble.

(side note: Judo is not very effective as self defence)

[tcbawo]

When the police came, what happened?

[the-dude]

If you don't have an appointment, I don't answer the door. I was not called into the bureau.

[AYBABTME]

> What a trash take.

You can disagree without coming down to this.

[sparkling]

Prime example right here of ignoring everything he said due to one bad (but well intended) analogy. This is exactly the problem he is talking about.