[estacado]

If you have the time, offer the person taking care of the sick person to take over the taking care for a few hours or days.

I took care of my mother when she was sick and none of my 3 older brothers offered to take over the duty of caring for her. It was like my home was the hospital for 3 months and not even one of them offered to take care of her for one night. I developed this deep bitter feeling towards them during that time.

I understand if they have things to take care of but not even 1 night?! It still pisses me off thinking back. For all I care, all of her children have an equal responsibility to take care of her. It was like I had to put my life on hold so that they can continue living their lives like nothing's happening.

[megrimlock]

That sounds really frustrating. Have you asked them why they didn't offer, in a non-accusatory way that won't put them immediately on the defensive? They may feel guilty and too ashamed to speak of it now. I can imagine the last thing you want to do is go over this experience with them, but the fact remains that you all hold a shared experience with your mother and there's still the chance to connect with them over that, and honor her memory that way.

Sorry, I don't mean to be presumptuous; I just think this kind of thing is so rarely discussed until you're in the middle of it.

[dpcan]

You did the right thing and that's all that matters. There's no reason to hold this above their heads, because it will hover up there anyway without you ever having to say or do anything. If I were you, I'd just keep it to myself forever and let everyone know within themselves that I did the right thing because you can be pretty certain that they already know they didn't.