[Rainymood]

(Tried to re-write your intro article a bit for ... you know ... a non-technical audience.)

# Summary

Let me get straight to the point.

If you (or your daycare) uses NurseryCam, ANYONE CAN SPY ON YOUR CHILDREN.

Let me repeat that.

If you (or your daycare) uses NurseryCam, ANYONE CAN SPY ON YOUR CHILDREN. ANYONE.

Hi, my name is John Doe and I'm a cyber-security consultant who specialises online video security.

NurseryCam is a camera system that is installed in nurseries, allowing parents to view their children remotely. There are tens of nurseries stating that they use this system. News articles go back as far as 2004.

The problem is that NurseryCam's system contains serious security issues. The worst part is that NurseryCam is lying about it. NurseryCam were informed of these as early as February 2015 – 6 years ago and still haven't done anything to fix them. These issues would allow any parent, past or present, to access the video feeds from the nursery. There is also the chance that anyone on the Internet could have accessed them.

So if you use NurseryCam, anyone can spy on your children. Do you really want that?

If you are a concerned parent now, please do not hesitate to reach out to me on [e-mail].

If you want more technical details, keep reading on down below.

# Technical details

...

[II2II]

While I agree the article is more technical than the author claims, that summary says very little and sounds like fear mongering. It is important to have a credible tone in order for a serious issue to be treated seriously.

One of the interesting things about the original article are the technical details. If the claims are true, almost anyone who has a decent knowledge of computer networking can circumvent the security measures. Even replacing jargon with descriptions more amenable to a non-technical audience would likely convey the same thing. This is in stark contrast to most of the vulnerabilities we hear about these days, where a much deeper knowledge is required to exploit the vulnerability even when a thorough description is provided.

[jlgaddis]

Since 1) this is supposed to be for "a non-technical audience" and 2) the target audience is parents of young children who feel it's necessary to monitor (in real-time) their child(ren)'s day care facilities in the first place, I can't help but think that your rewritten intro missed out on an absolutely perfect opportunity by failing to include -- for maximum effect and attention-grabbing, obviously -- terms like "pedophile", "child predator", and so on.

(I'm only halfway joking.)

[Psype]

Hello, NO. > ANYONE CAN SPY ON YOUR CHILDREN

No one said that except you. You shuld get less into the technical, and more into the actual reading.