[samoa42]

as a parent i can tell you that _NOONE_ is prepared before having children and that there will be times when your consideration and love leave you alone and you gonna fuck up.

but dont read this too negative, kids are the best there is!

and while a lot of the hn audience may think like:

> I hope parents can be considarate, prepared, loving and financially stable before having children.

if you wait til everyting is "perfect", you loose to the despicable retards that dont care.

[bigfudge]

While I agree with the core of your argument, we don't need terms like "despicable retards" here. It cheapens the debate and makes it harder for people to agree with you.

[samoa42]

fully agree. have my apologies everyone

[knuthsat]

Problem is that children suck up all the time. So I would pretty much wait until I want to spend time on children and not on my stuff or my partners stuff.

I'd probably have children when I'm retired, whatever age that be.

[xyzelement]

Somehow rings hollow to me.

There's never time unless we prioritize. Plenty of people are great parents despite being busy.

My rabbi has ten kids. Ten. And he is still able to run the congregation which is probably not less demanding than whatever you do (statistically speaking). This kind of thing is common in certain communities.

So it's possible just a question of what's important to you. If kids fall behind brunch and posting on HN then yes we are too busy :)

[knuthsat]

I did say exactly that. Currently I want to spend time on my stuff and my partner's stuff. I do not want to pause that and spend all the time on my children. I'm enjoying life so much, the traveling, personal hobbies, that I do not want to ruin it with children.

I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to spend months travelling every year, or a week cutoff from the rest of the world, doing my own projects, every couple of months, if I had children.

I'm also sure the rabbi has a massive support circle. I, on the other hand, am alone with my partner.

[watwut]

Families with many kids do less well tho statistically - boys have more behavioral problems and girls do less good in school. There is simply less time for parents to be able to give the kids individual attention. It is possible that rabbis congregation leaves enough time to give individual attention to kids.

But I bet his wife is the one who does overwhelming majority of leading kids and care. Because with standard 40 hours and 6 kids he would already be impossibly stretched.

[samoa42]

while the argument about time/kid holds some truth, an opposing truth is that single kids often lack a sense of humility in regards to attention by others and a lack of sociability because they never really needed it.

[samoa42]

sometime it feels that way, but another way of putting it is investment in something that succeeds you and your partner. how is that not "my stuff or my partners stuff"?

[knuthsat]

A lot of stuff can succeed me. I'd prefer to have a free choice in what to do with my time than to restrict it heavily with a child.

I know what my parents sacrificed having me and my siblings. The world today is not build for nuclear families and the world before was nothing close to nuclear families. My parents had to relocate and had no support. They really cared about us and had no life outside of their children. I couldn't do that.

There is a significant loss of freedom and time when one has children today.

Yes, I know that a significant number of parents are horrible people or have children in horrible conditions but I do not think that should require me to have children.

[whimsicalism]

> if you wait til everyting is "perfect", you loose to the despicable retards that dont care.

I've never viewed having a child as a competition. What am I losing?

[samoa42]

i'd say everyone that exists/-ed is a winner in the procreation "game" (life).