[xyzelement]

Somehow rings hollow to me.

There's never time unless we prioritize. Plenty of people are great parents despite being busy.

My rabbi has ten kids. Ten. And he is still able to run the congregation which is probably not less demanding than whatever you do (statistically speaking). This kind of thing is common in certain communities.

So it's possible just a question of what's important to you. If kids fall behind brunch and posting on HN then yes we are too busy :)

[knuthsat]

I did say exactly that. Currently I want to spend time on my stuff and my partner's stuff. I do not want to pause that and spend all the time on my children. I'm enjoying life so much, the traveling, personal hobbies, that I do not want to ruin it with children.

I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to spend months travelling every year, or a week cutoff from the rest of the world, doing my own projects, every couple of months, if I had children.

I'm also sure the rabbi has a massive support circle. I, on the other hand, am alone with my partner.

[watwut]

Families with many kids do less well tho statistically - boys have more behavioral problems and girls do less good in school. There is simply less time for parents to be able to give the kids individual attention. It is possible that rabbis congregation leaves enough time to give individual attention to kids.

But I bet his wife is the one who does overwhelming majority of leading kids and care. Because with standard 40 hours and 6 kids he would already be impossibly stretched.

[samoa42]

while the argument about time/kid holds some truth, an opposing truth is that single kids often lack a sense of humility in regards to attention by others and a lack of sociability because they never really needed it.