|
Born into a dysfunctional family (father beat the sht out of my mother, me, siblings). My mother in turn beat the sht out of me & my siblings.
I had trouble in elementary school. Had to repeat classes, graduated from high school late in life.
Worked mostly in temporary low-paying jobs, then went to school for 3 years doing basically nothing. Dropped out, then worked again somewhere, then went to school again pursuing a computer science degree (60% complete). My life is just a big f*cking maze (too many trial and errors, esp. unnecessary ones: "doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results"-kind of mistakes). Now in my early 30s going to school with Gen-Z (feeling as the only Yoomer stuck in there), still having financial troubles (hard for me to make ends meet), wondering if this grind will ever come to a halt?
Especially when 3 decades have passed, and you never really worked in a "real job" being "socially awkward" and lonely for most of your life. How can I make up for my lost years? I can't this is the realization. Time can't be brought back. So this is out of the equation. All I can do now, is look into typical recommendations/life advice/studies/findings and optimize as much as I am comfortable with: - water fasting (mostly following Valter Longo)
- cold showers (b/c it helps against depression and ease my Reynolds syndrome)
- socializing (not easy for me, but I must try it at least b/c: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/)
- omega-3 and other supplements (good for easing depression caused by trauma/loneliness) I am no expert, I don't understand these studies fully, but they at least give me some sense of direction to "steer" my remaining life out of this misery. (At least I hope so.) 1 year until I prospectively graduate. Let's see how this life of mine unfolds. |
FWIW, I'm also about a decade behind-the-curve because of childhood trauma. I'm reminded of it every day - peers within my age group have exceeded me in every imaginable way.
The cool thing though, is that your CS degree is going to empower you with a lethal skillset, whether or not you graduate. Especially if you keep practicing those social skills as you work on your studies.
I know this is a "Tell HN", and I hesitate to offer unsolicited advice. But I'll share with you, what I wish someone would have shared with me:
- Delayed career progression isn't a big deal. Just frame it as an interesting story.
- You can make your story more interesting by learning to love and cultivate your skillset. Maybe reading Atomic Habits inspires you to build a personal habit-tracking application. That sort of thing is a powerful differentiator.
- You probably won't use most of what you're learning in academia. I wish I had supplemented by University studies with a coding bootcamp that taught me how to build real apps for real people.
- Interviewing is a total numbers game. It took me ~20 interviews to get an offer that excited me. My GPA was shit - but my side projects were interesting to the people who handled my interview loop.
- It sounds cliche, but defining a five-year vision (ie - working for a FAANG corp making $>150k/y) can help. You can split those years up into months, and those months up into weeks, and then determine what you should be measuring and working on to meet your targets every week.
I also wanted to thank you for the reminder to take care of my body. I've been getting lazy (easy with gyms closed) and your post was great reminder to resume measuring and improving my nutrition/exercise habits. Much appreciated.