[notatrumper]

Some people have it even worse - they die.

So again, what is the point? I acknowledge that some (many) people have it worse than myself. Now what?

It is also a common recommendation to meditate on ones inevitable death daily. Maybe thinking about the fate of sick people could have a similar effect.

And of course one can wonder how to improve things for sick people. But that's only useful to some extent. I think it makes mostly sense for people in the social circle of the sick person.

I don't think there is much I can do for the spoon woman, safe for donating some money to Lupus research. And I also can not spend all my waking hours donating to various health research organisations (only so many spoons to go around). So maybe I donate some money to Lupus research, but beyond that, there would not be much benefit to me thinking much more about it.

[chromanoid]

When you bond with somebody with Lupus or another severe illness or who generally has it worse than yourself you can now better understand how they live their life. Many people don't know how such things affect a person on a daily basis. You just learned something about the human condition. Isn't that something?

You don't have to do something at all.

[notatrumper]

What makes you assume I learned something I didn't already know? As I said, I know there are people who have it worse than me.

And as I also said, and you confirmed, it makes sense if you have somebody in your circles who has such a condition.

Apart from that - my question was, why do you complain, or get annoyed?

[chromanoid]

The fact that you complain about somebody who complains about somebody, who thinks it's a good idea to bring up that "everybody feels bad sometimes" in a comment section about a personal report regarding a severe illness, should have told me that you are probably unable to learn in this regard.

I complain about stupid people who think it's necessary to bring up that "everybody struggles some more, some less" in a comment section about a personal report regarding a severe illness.

Let's say your fictional (?) dog dies and you talk about your experience with it. Should I tell you that my wife's dad died in a motorcycle crash? Or that everybody has their struggles? That would be the epitome of human decency, wouldn't it?

[Puts]

I think my comment might have been severely misunderstood. By saying that everybody struggles I did not mean "Stop wining because it's worse for others". What I meant was, we all go thorough periods when our spoons are not enough, and that this is totally okay. Going trough difficulties and thinking you are the only one is harmful and feeling alone in such circumstances is unnecessary because we all find our self there sometimes.

[chromanoid]

Yeah, nobody should feel alone. The spoon theory helped the author to feel a bit less alone, because her friend who did not understand her, could understand her a little bit more with the spoon theory.

Her friend probably thought, "hey I also sometimes feel a lack of spoons". But the enormous extent the author has to deal with spoon management still surprised her friend. It surprised me too.

I don't think it's ok to have such a lack of spoons. I think some people are indeed very lonely when it comes to their kind of lack of spoons. I don't think thinking that way is harmful. Getting such a severe illness is a severe loss of life quality. You will probably grief for the rest of your life. It's nothing you can fully move on from.

At least I would never hug a person with such a background while saying "I understand you". That is impossible for me. Hugging, of course, yes, but claiming any real knowledge about how such constant lack of spoons must feel is impossible for me.

[notatrumper]

That's again the classic power games bullshit. "You could never understand me", "It's impossible for me to understand you" and so on. That's overly dramatic and self-aggrandizing. And in the case of the person who is sick, also inducing unnecessary loneliness.

[notatrumper]

I'm sure if I would tell you about the death of my dog in this thread, you would complain that I bring it up in the context of somebody with a horrible chronic disease.

I just want to understand your motivation, and the motivation of the OP. I guess I have a feeling you like to lord it over other people with the help of victims of diseases. (Similar things tend to happen when somebody dies - there are always people who then order other people around on the basis of "the deceased would want us to do x").

I never once said that the spoon women doesn't have it hard, btw. That is your interpretation. I want to know why it annoys you if people are not sufficiently sad about it. I probably live at the other end of the world, so I just wonder why it is so important to you.

Btw there is also a story about Buddha who told one of his suffering disciples to find somebody who doesn't have a hard fate, and they were unable to find somebody. I guess Buddha was a real asshole, according to you (he did exactly the thing you claim is a big no no).

[chromanoid]

You really don't want to get it.

> I guess I have a feeling you like to lord it over other people with the help of victims of diseases. (Similar things tend to happen when somebody dies - there are always people who then order other people around on the basis of "the deceased would want us to do x").

WTF man. "TBQH I have a real dislike for the relativistic thinking that people apply to this." So lordly!

> I never once said that the spoon women doesn't have it hard, btw. That is your interpretation.

I never interpreted it that way. The author of the report probably also does not want you to feel pity for her. She just told you a story about how life is for her and she came up with a analogy to make it more understandable.

Buddha also says: “Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

[notatrumper]

"lording" was a bit strong, I just couldn't think of better words to describe it.

You clearly seem to want me to do or feel "something". In the other thread you talk about things like "the decent thing to do", "showing empathy", and so on.

My question was, why. What's it to you. As I said, I don't know the woman with the spoons, and I also don't play down her predicament.

So why do you want me to behave in a certain way? That's "lording", for lack of a better word. You want to determine how other people have to behave.