[Puts]

I think my comment might have been severely misunderstood. By saying that everybody struggles I did not mean "Stop wining because it's worse for others". What I meant was, we all go thorough periods when our spoons are not enough, and that this is totally okay. Going trough difficulties and thinking you are the only one is harmful and feeling alone in such circumstances is unnecessary because we all find our self there sometimes.

[chromanoid]

Yeah, nobody should feel alone. The spoon theory helped the author to feel a bit less alone, because her friend who did not understand her, could understand her a little bit more with the spoon theory.

Her friend probably thought, "hey I also sometimes feel a lack of spoons". But the enormous extent the author has to deal with spoon management still surprised her friend. It surprised me too.

I don't think it's ok to have such a lack of spoons. I think some people are indeed very lonely when it comes to their kind of lack of spoons. I don't think thinking that way is harmful. Getting such a severe illness is a severe loss of life quality. You will probably grief for the rest of your life. It's nothing you can fully move on from.

At least I would never hug a person with such a background while saying "I understand you". That is impossible for me. Hugging, of course, yes, but claiming any real knowledge about how such constant lack of spoons must feel is impossible for me.

[notatrumper]

That's again the classic power games bullshit. "You could never understand me", "It's impossible for me to understand you" and so on. That's overly dramatic and self-aggrandizing. And in the case of the person who is sick, also inducing unnecessary loneliness.

[chromanoid]

It not dramatic, simply the truth. What is so dramatic that I cannot fully understand somebody? I can perfectly live with that. I cannot fully understand you and I cannot fully understand the author. The author has a huge part of their life I cannot understand. Since I have children I can for example now better understand other parents, but I will never fully understand their individual struggles.

That is just acknowledging individuality and diversity. I will still demand stuff from those I cannot understand well. For example abiding to laws etc. Individuality does not automatically imply immunity to judgement or special treatment. You seem to think that.