[gonehome]

It may be trite, but it seems like strong social ties, community, and having a family are pretty key to filling that gap.

I suspect it’s a built in sense of purpose from millions of years of selective pressure.

Other things like novelty seeking, learning, getting better at crafts help - but looking at people that feel generally content, investing in a good partner and having kids seems like the surest way to fill that purpose.

Lots of ways that can go poorly (I think mostly people choosing their partner poorly or for stupid reasons), but if it goes well I think that’s probably a critical piece.

[dan00]

> It may be trite, but it seems like strong social ties, community, and having a family are pretty key to filling that gap.

That's certainly true, and without my partner life would be a lot more bleak.

I've a bit of a hard time with communities, because I would really like to be part of more, but have often issues with their narrow mindedness, which seems to be the needed bound of communities. Well, also being a bit of loner doesn't help connecting to a community. But nevertheless I've a strong emotional desire to be part of one.

It might be one of these mismatches, when your desire and the reality just aren't compatible.

[gonehome]

It could also be that you just haven't found a community that you like yet.

I like HN (most of the time), Scott Alexander's blog, and LessWrong.

It's hard to find the same kind of thing in-person though, plus have to overcome the social anxiety/social skills bit of actually finding and going to a place with new people which is an entirely separate (though worthwhile) skill.

I haven't succeeded with this either (though I like the people I work with).