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It could also be that you just haven't found a community that you like yet.

I like HN (most of the time), Scott Alexander's blog, and LessWrong.

It's hard to find the same kind of thing in-person though, plus have to overcome the social anxiety/social skills bit of actually finding and going to a place with new people which is an entirely separate (though worthwhile) skill.

I haven't succeeded with this either (though I like the people I work with).