[AmberShah]

I did for awhile, first for my local employer where my team was in the office and I worked from home, and then from a distributed company. These were both full time, and then I did part time for a different local company.

I had a nanny there watching my kid the entire time I was working. I did get to take little breaks to see what he was up to (and when he was younger, nurse him) and that's what was great about it. However, I really could NOT have watched him and worked AT ALL.

Taking care of a kid really is a full time job and you won't be able to get any work done if you don't have childcare there as well. Even the 1-2 hours you might get in a nap are easily taken up by cleaning up your messes, collapsing in exhaustion and, if you're lucky, checking your email.

If you CAN afford a nanny so that you're at home with your kid, then that is an awesome setup. It's the closest the thing to having your cake and eat it too, in my opinion.

And if you're feeling uneasy about your daycare, get your kid out ASAP! These little gut feelings are all you have, since you aren't there yourself. If you can't watch him yourself or get nanny, then at least find a new daycare. I used to work at a highly praised/awarded day care and based on that experience alone, I will never put my kid in daycare. Like I said, we were one of the better ones, because I've heard horror stories way worse than what happened where I worked. So... that sounds scary and I'm sorry but you have to trust your gut.

[Jem]

I probably couldn't afford a nanny, but my sister is currently jobless and might be open to 'working' for me a couple of days a week.

Thank you. I appreciate your honesty.

[gte910h]

A fulltime nanny (aka, daytime, approx 9-10 hours, not live in) is only going to run you about 25-35k in many areas of the country. (I'm speaking of a legal resident with a green card or US citizen).

I think you'll find buying a smaller home or going on fewer vacations or eating out much less and getting some domestic help will drastically improve the quality of your life.

[AmberShah]

This is true, and is basically what I pay my nanny. I clearly could not afford to do this if I worked in a less lucrative industry. In that case, I would most likely stay home.

[Jem]

We're buying the smallest home in our area, don't vacation and don't eat out...

[gte910h]

Sounds like you're not making enough to make living/working there worthwhile. Try a cheaper city. I'm not talking Topeka, but do look at cheaper cities with a tech scene. (I'm a big advocate of Atlanta, and live here, but Austin also works nicely).

Or just get a new job in the same city with better pay.

Edit: Oh, I see you're in the UK. That is quite different. Try pointing that out. The UK has several high cost areas and lower cost areas as well, but I know little about the tech scene.

The solution may be "Dude get's higher paying job"

[Jem]

Apologies for not clarifying my location.

I earn the going rate for a PHP developer in my area, in a job that I love that's close to where I live. Unfortunately it's a fairly low-paying area, so although I could probably squeeze another couple of grand out of a different employer, that would be eaten up by travelling costs/etc.

If money were the issue here, I'd just go up to 5 days a week.

[gte910h]

Yeah, honestly, increasing income, or your hubby stopping some work is probably the better directions. In the states python/ruby web dev pays a bit better than php, so perhaps you could try moving towards that.

My gut says 'Don't buy this house, it's the wrong size for your income/family situation and in a place that doesn't pay well enough for the life you want.'

[ryanmarsh]

Jem, you can find a nanny for less than you think. There are lots of young ladies out there with out jobs who live with their parents and are much more the family type than the career type. Those girls would jump at the chance to take care of your son and don't cost very much, probably comparable to what you are paying now.

[infinite8s]

If it wouldn't get you in trouble, I would love to know your experiences from the inside of the daycare that aren't easily discernible from a parent's point of view.

I have a 1 yr old child in daycare and while everything seems great so far (she's only been there for 3 months) I've heard other parents having issues sometime - but no one I knew well enough to ask.