[gte910h]

A fulltime nanny (aka, daytime, approx 9-10 hours, not live in) is only going to run you about 25-35k in many areas of the country. (I'm speaking of a legal resident with a green card or US citizen).

I think you'll find buying a smaller home or going on fewer vacations or eating out much less and getting some domestic help will drastically improve the quality of your life.

[AmberShah]

This is true, and is basically what I pay my nanny. I clearly could not afford to do this if I worked in a less lucrative industry. In that case, I would most likely stay home.

[Jem]

We're buying the smallest home in our area, don't vacation and don't eat out...

[gte910h]

Sounds like you're not making enough to make living/working there worthwhile. Try a cheaper city. I'm not talking Topeka, but do look at cheaper cities with a tech scene. (I'm a big advocate of Atlanta, and live here, but Austin also works nicely).

Or just get a new job in the same city with better pay.

Edit: Oh, I see you're in the UK. That is quite different. Try pointing that out. The UK has several high cost areas and lower cost areas as well, but I know little about the tech scene.

The solution may be "Dude get's higher paying job"

[Jem]

Apologies for not clarifying my location.

I earn the going rate for a PHP developer in my area, in a job that I love that's close to where I live. Unfortunately it's a fairly low-paying area, so although I could probably squeeze another couple of grand out of a different employer, that would be eaten up by travelling costs/etc.

If money were the issue here, I'd just go up to 5 days a week.

[gte910h]

Yeah, honestly, increasing income, or your hubby stopping some work is probably the better directions. In the states python/ruby web dev pays a bit better than php, so perhaps you could try moving towards that.

My gut says 'Don't buy this house, it's the wrong size for your income/family situation and in a place that doesn't pay well enough for the life you want.'