[jacksnipe]

I'm pretty sure you've only explained why an upper-middle class upbringing makes you much more suited to success than a lower class one. If you have that upbringing, then you're right, nothing is stopping you from doing all of this.

But if you don't, well, what are you supposed to do? Your relationship to work is what it is because you can't afford to lose your job, and you were raised in an environment where others feel that way. Your ability to come home and learn things, rather than "sit down and watch tv or do something that's not going to progress you" is severely impacted if your mental health is already suffering. Your ability to even imagine what you can accomplish is affected by having no examples that you've witnessed in real life.

You can, of course, chalk all of this up to personal responsibility. But the alternative view, backed by science, is that being raised poor impacts all of these things and more, and that's a matter of how the human brain works. In the aggregate, it's not a matter of personal responsibility.

[amself]

Thank you for saying this. As a high-schooler from a lower middle-class family in Greece, I feel this pain every single day. It's therapeutic to see it is not as personal as it feels.

I know my generation has free access to almost all of human knowledge online, I know hard work and study can pull me out of this hell. I start every day hoping to do just that, but my accomplishments remain depressingly few regardless. Honestly, it's even getting worse over time, I was a far brighter and gifted kid once. I live in fear of how much smarter some of my peers are getting and I can't catch up.

It's like, every time I try to escape this mess, I fall back to a predetermined state of idleness. Most of the blame is on me; I was actually given some good opportunities to better myself by teachers who cared, I was a step away from scholarships at private schools and studying abroad etc. and I blew it all away. I never worked hard enough. Some of my failures may just boil down to luck.

Still, it is sad to think (with hindsight) how much different everything could've been, if my starting conditions were just a bit better. If I had been given a nudge in the right direction at challenging moments, instead of having to rely on self-study and self-help. If my parents had made me play an instrument, learn math earlier, read more books or make friends. God, it would've been so much better had I known somebody who had already done the things I wanted to do.

Breaking out of the loop is very, very hard without help. It is like the Münchhausen Trilemma. Anyway, I hope this comment is not inappropriate for HN, I just have nowhere else to vent. Sorry.

[kevas]

Dude... don’t worry about the past as it’s the past. Use the past to learn what you did right and what you did wrong.

I’m glad that you know you have limitless resources (libgen is your friend).

If i may make a suggestion, change the way you talk. Instead of saying, “i hope” say “I am” be more definitive about your statements and after awhile, you’ll notice a change in your thoughts.

Here’s my favorite saying, “you’re not going to change until the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same.”

I did a 6 year stent at community college and then failed out at uni. I had a menial until 27 or 28 years old. I was a failure at life at this point. I decided to read the entire Learning Python book (>1200 pages) because I’m not a smart man, but I thought that by reading that stupid thing, I’d learn something at least (should have picked a few other books looking back). While reading that book and having the menial job, I started having these ideas... hmm... I could automate this for this department or I could do this... i could do that... blah blah... that led me to another role at that company. I kept learning that programming thing and then somehow got a job at a better company, making decent money. Kept studying and two years later, I finally a software engineer that’s leading initiatives at the company I’m at.

My full advice:

- Don’t be scared to ask questions

- Ask more questions

- Learn whatever interests you. You’ll wonder, but at some point down the road, something will click. Could be a few months from now or a few years, but just keep learning whatever tickles your fancy.

- Don’t be scared to admit you don’t know something, but just make sure that you know it the next time you see the person.

- Be curious

- Workout. This is one of the most important things. How can one feel good about oneself if they don’t take care of their body. I’m not saying gotta have the best body or diet, but just get some workout in—sports, gym, classes, yoga, hiking, something.

I got my best break of my life, which lead to everything good I have accomplished today at the gym. I overheard a conversation someone was having with a person I knew at the gym and I found it interesting. I asked for an introduction and that was that.

Don’t be scared to reach out. Go to events and meet new people. Talk to random people who you think would be interesting; talk to people who are working on interesting stuff at coffee shops, etc...

You’ll be fine if you have passion.