| Dude... don’t worry about the past as it’s the past. Use the past to learn what you did right and what you did wrong. I’m glad that you know you have limitless resources (libgen is your friend). If i may make a suggestion, change the way you talk. Instead of saying, “i hope” say “I am” be more definitive about your statements and after awhile, you’ll notice a change in your thoughts. Here’s my favorite saying, “you’re not going to change until the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same.” I did a 6 year stent at community college and then failed out at uni. I had a menial until 27 or 28 years old. I was a failure at life at this point. I decided to read the entire Learning Python book (>1200 pages) because I’m not a smart man, but I thought that by reading that stupid thing, I’d learn something at least (should have picked a few other books looking back). While reading that book and having the menial job, I started having these ideas... hmm... I could automate this for this department or I could do this... i could do that... blah blah... that led me to another role at that company. I kept learning that programming thing and then somehow got a job at a better company, making decent money. Kept studying and two years later, I finally a software engineer that’s leading initiatives at the company I’m at. My full advice: - Don’t be scared to ask questions - Ask more questions - Learn whatever interests you. You’ll wonder, but at some point down the road, something will click. Could be a few months from now or a few years, but just keep learning whatever tickles your fancy. - Don’t be scared to admit you don’t know something, but just make sure that you know it the next time you see the person. - Be curious - Workout. This is one of the most important things. How can one feel good about oneself if they don’t take care of their body. I’m not saying gotta have the best body or diet, but just get some workout in—sports, gym, classes, yoga, hiking, something. I got my best break of my life, which lead to everything good I have accomplished today at the gym. I overheard a conversation someone was having with a person I knew at the gym and I found it interesting. I asked for an introduction and that was that. Don’t be scared to reach out. Go to events and meet new people. Talk to random people who you think would be interesting; talk to people who are working on interesting stuff at coffee shops, etc... You’ll be fine if you have passion. |