[marnett]

I find your reasoning very thorough, succinct, and easy to follow. Thank you for expanding. I am interested in what you have explored, for yourself, to replace the old world values with exclusively intrinsic values?

As an aside, the mindset you describe, of only focusing on that which one can control, is referred to in psychology as having an Internal Locus of Control vs an External Locus of Control.

[fairity]

The event that kicked off my value exploration was my first startup failing. It caused me to realize that my rat-race values were dependent on outside forces and causing me substantial pain.

After reading Dweck's book, I focused on self-growth and learning as primary values. However, when my second startup hit a slog, I found myself losing motivation again. I realized, then, that I only chose self-growth and learning as a means to achieve status and wealth.

I began to question whether it was even possible to change my values. Perhaps rat-race values were so ingrained in me through my upbringing that it was too late to change. My question, then, was: Is it even necessary to have values? Wouldn't life be simpler without values?

I transitioned into a period where I tried to live without values. In reality, this meant my primary values were: momentary pleasure and emotional fortitude. That is, I tried my best to design life so that I was experiencing pleasure most of the time. And, in the face of hardship, I adopted a stoic attitude.

This, perhaps obviously, led me to a bad place where I lost motivation to continue working on my second startup, and withdrew from many of my social obligations.

Thankfully, I soon came to the realization that I have certain needs that my value system must support. Notably, I must make enough money to support myself. And, I must maintain a certain degree of sociability to stay sane.

After some consideration, I decided that my primary value going forward should be: devotion. That is, in whatever activities I endeavor, what ultimately matters to me is that I try my best. My goals in life will naturally change with time. Currently, my primary goals are making my startup a success and strengthening my relationship with my family. Later, it may be raising a family or contributing to society. Whatever my goals are, and regardless of whether I fail or succeed at achieving them, what ultimately matters to me is that I gave it my all. Devotion, as a primary value, passes the test of being within my control and also feels authentic based on my upbringing.