[nickff]

You're asserting that people who have suffered cancer and a very invasive (likely traumatic) operation probably have mental health issues as well?

I'm all for people consulting counselors and psychologists, but many people want to get back to normal, and part of that is to look the same as they did before, and avoid others asking them very personal questions or making hurtful comments. The doctors performing reconstructive surgeries are not taking advantage of vulnerable individuals, they are helping support people's recoveries.

[wolverine876]

> I'm all for people consulting counselors and psychologists, but many people want to get back to normal, and part of that is to look the same as they did before, and avoid others asking them very personal questions or making hurtful comments. The doctors performing reconstructive surgery are not taking advantage of vulnerable individuals, they are helping support people's recoveries.

I'm not sure I understand ... ?

First, I certainly didn't say that the doctors are taking advantage of anyone and certainly don't think so! I don't even know what ulterior motive the doctors would have. Please don't attribute things to me.

The job of mental health professionals is to help the patient achieve whatever their goal is, whether that's 'getting back to normal' or to help with a difficult decision or situation.

Who are you saying would be "asking very personal questions and making hurtful comments"? Mental health professionals? Mental health treatment is not an inquisition; there's no judgment made. Just like the surgeon, their job is to help the patient.

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The doctors have asked us to take a survey. It's reasonable to raise legitimate concerns about that survey; we're not and shouldn't be thoughtless and unskeptical.

[nickff]

I am saying that strangers (not counselors and psychologists) ask the personal questions and make hurtful comments; talking to a counselor or psychologist will not change the fact that someone looks like a cancer victim.

[wolverine876]

I understand that part now. I think we keep talking past each other about a premise.

The premise is that other people have power over you, that what they think about you matters (on a personal, emotional level). Therefore, what everyone else thinks about your appearance matters.

I'm saying that the mistake is in accepting that premise. It's false. What you think about yourself is all that matters (in the personal, emotional level we are talking about), and when you know and accept yourself, the strangers are powerless. Other people only have that power if you don't love yourself and then look to them to fill that void (speaking simplistically).

A mental health professional can help a cancer survivor face those emotions, and know and accept themselves. Then all that matters is what they think about their own body.