[code4tee]

If you’ve ever been in a company with a toxic leader you can relate. It will literally destroy everything in the company. The toxic leader usually thinks everyone else is the problem, causing them to double down. It’s a vicious cycle that’s destroyed many companies.

[Angostura]

I've been at a company 6 years, I was thinking of leaving because I'd achived pretty much all I could in the role. In September a new CEO joined. Having listened to their plans, I was excited, new ideas, a firm direction. I decided to stay

a month later, I resigned. They were a bully who perceived any geniuine question as a challenge. Good people, coming out of meetings trying not to cry. I was coming out of meetings feeling like I was being beaten up.

My last day is next Thursday. People keep telling me how envious they are of me. I'm feeling guilt for leaving them in the lurch.

[toast0]

> I'm feeling guilt for leaving them in the lurch.

Keep in touch with them, and let them know of opportunities that fit them where you landed, if it's a better place.

[marcosdumay]

> I'm feeling guilt for leaving them in the lurch.

You are not making their lives any worse. Most likely you don't even have that kind of power.

[to11mtm]

If it's a strong enough feeling, that's probably another sign of abuse from the employer.

[otaviokz]

The feeling of guilt is, unfortunately, normal. Just try to keep in mind you didn't really do nothing wrong, and it will help overcoming it faster.

[rightbyte]

Feeling sorry for someone and feeling guilt feels the same for me. Maybe OP are mixing them up? Ie. he feels sorry for them as soon as the "we are in this together" is gone?

[_y5hn]

Guilt (fear) and feeling sorry for someone else (empathy), are two distinct feelings.

The problem is the sociopath behaviour and attitudes, that will project all their bad feelings unto others. The sociopath won't acknowledge their own state, so will blame others, also knowingly and silently for personal gain.

The remedy is radical honesty and working with oneself. Nobody else can do the work for someone, but breaking the patterns can be inspiring.

Don't let authority gain undue power over your lives. Some day you will regret it.

[erikerikson]

> keep in mind you didn't really do nothing wrong

Perhaps you meant to write "Keep in mind you acted in good faith"?

[danielharan]

If there's a board, it may be worth it to let some members know.

Should those board members do nothing, you now know to avoid their companies in the future :)

[tomnipotent]

> If there's a board, it may be worth it to let some members know

Scenarios like this never work out well for the person doing the "complaining", whether you're going above your manager to their manager or your CEO to their board.

It's not worth your time, energy, or reputation. Focus your energy elsewhere, it's not your fight anymore.

[anonytrary]

Toxic leaders are often supported and defended by other leaders. At some point, pushing out a toxic leader is bad enough for the company image that the company would rather just hide the toxicity with NDAs. Childhood friends should never go into business together. Businesses built on a seed of nepotism are much more likely to fail. Imagine a 100-person company where the two founders are best friends since they were kids. If one of the founders repeatedly engages in inappropriate conduct, the other founder is much more likely to hide it.

[fredley]

This hits home. I've worked with leaders on two seperate extremes of the axes presented. In one case literally everyone of the bullet points was true. I wish I could have read this before then.