Bi men who live straight lives with a wife and family are ridiculously common. The ability to blackmail those people is extremely valuable to certain state organizations.
I've never been gay or bi, and I've never used Grindr, but I have held government security clearances for almost 40 years. It's a lot different today than it was back then. Early on, I knew several people who had "experimented" in college, and they were denied clearances. (Actually the government never officially denied them because that would require an explanation of the criteria used for the denial. Instead, it was perpetually "pending".)
Anyway, the basis for their denial was the potential for blackmail, which is a serious national security threat. Sometime within the past 25-30 years, they seem to have revised their policies so gay/bi people can get cleared, as long as they are open about it.
Foreign governments blackmailing US government staff is only one side of the equation. There is, of course, the whole "but what would the wife/churchfellows think?" issue, still, but there are still many countries that do not take the same enlightened view that the US does.
It's entirely possible that even the ability to verify that a particular email address has a Grindr account may be enough to threaten a person with imprisonment or death in several countries I can think of off the top of my head.
Fortunately it's easily avoidable: You defer checking address status until you send the mail out.
So when an email-address is entered to create an account, you always respond with "pending email verification". Then you send an email saying "Someone is registering an account with us using this address." And then, when the account already exists, you continue with "lol it already exists. If this was you, you can click to reset your password". If there is no account under that address, you send the "please click to verify" mail. At no point does this process expose the status of the address.
So were they denying clearances to openly gay people back in the old days? Because there wouldn’t be potential for blackmail in that case. Sorry I can’t tell what you’re saying changed about the policies.
Thirty years ago George Bush Senior was president, Reagan has recently left office, and the United States government was handling HIV poorly and intentionally so.
Sodomy laws were still on the books - can you keep a clearance while openly breaking the law every time you and your partner sleep together?
I don't know, that's why I asked since the original commenter seems to know, but his original comment doesn't really answer it as it basically says "they used to deny clearances to secretly gay people, and today they grant them to openly gay people".
I have Swedish security clearance, and I was never even asked during the interview but I must assume the know since an even cursory glance at my social media would reveal I’m gay.
It's only cheating if you're breaking a rule to not sleep with other people. Swingers aren't cheating (assuming they're respecting any agreed upon boundary) when they're having an orgy for example.
A bi man with a wife and a family could very well be having sexual encounters with men once in a while with the agreement of his wife (who could well have her own stuff going on too) and it could be a very healthy thing in what is a fulfilling relationship for both parties.
You might be right morally, but in a lot of countries it is still the case that 'not having sex with other people' is a compulsory clause of the marriage contract. So legally it's a little bit murkier.
People have been advocating for marriage contracts that are a bit like the CC license, where you can pick the parts that you agree on.
Marriage is on its way out in many places. In my region of Canada (Quebec), less than 50% of couples with kids are married. That number keeps going down every year.
(There are some automatic protections in the event of a separation.)
Factually speaking yes but practically speaking gay/straight people tend to be doubly touchy about their partner "playing for the other team" so to speak. Which... I mean, cheating is cheating is cheating lol
A wife might be accepting of a husbands bisexual adventures and not consider it cheating. What about her parents, his parents, children, family, coworkers, congregation, community, etc.
I wasn't speaking directly to that, moreso that secrets have value. Some people would reveal their secrets rather than be controlled with them, others will define the value of their secrets by what they're willing to do maintain them.
It's easier for a straight person to pass off a straight dating/hookup site vs. a "straight" married person on a gay/bi site. The straight person can just say they used the site before they were married, etc. whereas there's no such excuse for the gay site.
I wonder why you are getting downvoted so much.
I don't know how common bi-men are (probably more than bi erasure makes us believe) but it feels like a least a portion of them are not ready to come out as bi.
> I don't know how common bi-men are (probably more than bi erasure makes us believe)
They're not that common. The literature shows a bimodal straight/gay distribution of homosexual tendency in men and a more Gaussian distribution in women.
The "bi erasure" phenomenon is that if a man is bi, many will believe he's just gay but in denial. Because he may prefer to be seen as straight than gay, he may just let everyone think he's straight. This would reduce how many men appear to be bi in surveys.
Alternatively, I'm gay and even though I grew up in an area of the US which wasn't that homophoboic. I still hated myself for being gay enough that if I had an even slight attraction to women then I would have just killed off the male attraction side to me. If you're bi and grow up in a world where everything tells you that being gay is wrong, then that part of you that is attracted to guys will probably never get explored.
It also may be because of what I observe as 'masculine thinking' vs. 'feminine thinking'. It appears to be drawn biologically from the genetic male sex and 'male brain' vs. genetic female sex and 'female brain'. Natural variations exist in all things, but if you look at what's most common, with biological sex differences (whch feed cultural 'stereotypes'), they still are what they are.
See Robert Green's book "The Laws of Human Nature" (2018) for his take on the following. It's very insightful. (Chapter entitled, "The Law of Gender Rigidity")
'Masculine thinking' prefers to categorise and bifurcate. (Dualism.) I'm a guy and I consider myself having a 'super' 'male' brain in some aspects even more than the average. I find it very hard to multi-task, and I easily hyperfocus.
Male thinking solves problems by breaking things down and focusing on one part of the picture at a time. It's about specialisation.
Female thinking treats things more as a whole, with everything connected. It solves problems by looking at the whole picture at once. It's about multi-tasking.
I now see that 'male thinking' (as opposed to males), such as 'specialisation', dominates modern capitalism and public policy, and often to detriment. Most females at top levels in business at this time in our culture would appear to mostly have this success because they are 'atypically' strong in 'masculine thinking'.
Personally, I think such leadership needs more female thinking. I'm slowly trying to understand it more, as my own starting point. Modern diversity policies that change what's on the outside (how many penises are around the table) don't actually solve the real problems. We're still picking what's taking place on the inside. We need diversity of things far deeper - to embrace and celebrate true 'feminine thinking' - not just what's on the surface.
So anyway, this could help explain why female sexuality is seen to be more 'fluid', on average, than among males. It's not so much how people actually are, as how people see themselves, because of how they tend to be wired. And this is not even factoring in that there is greater cultural stigma around a male being bi vs. a female being bi.
The reason is that bi men round off to gay whereas bi women round off to straight. Bi women are even sought after by straight men so even women who aren't bi will sometimes claim to be, there is really no such equivalence to bi men. This will give the kind of distribution you are talking about especially when done by surveys as this kind of research often is.
A lot of the information a user who owns an account can see is not visible to the public. I don't see why being on Grindr in 2020 would be a blackmail risk IN COUNTRIES WHERE BEING GAY IS LEGAL.
OK, but in that case you're at (potentially much) greater risk than blackmail.
Why is blackmail the risk that people on this page are going to, then, is my question. If you're willing to make a public statement then blackmail is lower risk, not higher risk.
I'm not sure, sorry. I'm not honestly sure why there's so much discussion about security clearances.
If someone gets your grindr account they can get your (a) address, (b) phone number, and (c) private photos, none of which would otherwise be public. So let's just get that out there. A reasonable user would not expect that any of those three things are readily available to a stranger that they've never talked to who merely has their email address. Especially if they turn off distances specifically to avoid triangulation attacks on their location.
Those pieces of information can be used together to harrass, commit violence, or threaten to leak your photos or personal (albeit sure, not "private") conversations. Those are the obvious ones, but other information in there can also hidden from public view, like HIV status.
With this bug a malicious person could knowingly target you based on email address instead of finding you and even putting the work into catfishing you into sending them embarrassing photos.
I'd say that's a higher blackmail risk but only because of the hack, a little. Catfishes still existed but this makes doing it invisible and massive in scale while associating it with a public ID like your email address.