[tmaly]

I have a 7 year old in school now. The homework is pretty generic. There is not much in the way of domain-specific knowledge.

We do some activities at home. Chemistry, electronics, scratch programming. Stuff that is not taught in schools.

I use to live in radio shack as a kid. Putting together circuits was thrilling.

[seg_lol]

I am in no way saying you are doing this, comment is for the thread as well as you.

As others have mentioned in this discussion, I think giving the child both a sense and actual control over what they work on is one of the keys.

Children want to please their parents, so they might work on things that they think you would like. They are extremely good at reading people even if other actions seem uncoordinated. It is best to listen, in all senses of the word, to child and find out what they really like. Once you have found that, you have to make enough space for it to bloom.

One example for me was in getting my very adventurous athletic child to ride a scooter and a bike. I thought she would be one of those badass three year olds skating around with the big kids. She didn't really take to it, I tried to push it a little bit and I found myself a little deflated when said she didn't like it.

I sat back and figured out that I wanted it, and it wasn't fair for me to put that on to her. A smile isn't always a smile and encouragement is always what it seems. i backed off, would ask about it once in awhile but didn't pressure her again.

About 6 months ago she asked to ride the bike again, that she really wanted to learn. I told her she is gonna crash, it might hurt, but that anyone can do it. In 5 days of two 20-30 minute sessions a day, she was starting, stopping and turning all on her own. She was so excited to have learned it, I could see the accomplishment on her whole being.

Humans are wonderful all purpose devices, the spark that guides us the leads to our differentiation is the interest reward function. Capabilities are one thing, but interest, genuine interest is where the magic lies. The most interesting people are to me are the ones that ask the best questions, or give the answer you weren't expecting.

Our job as parents, I believe is to be a social and metacognitive mirror so that everyone can get a different perspective to explore and understand the world.

[tmaly]

>Children want to please their parents, so they might work on things that they think you would like.

I think this is known as the Pygmalion effect. It is very powerful, and we as parents/teachers have to be very careful with this.

Knowing what each of us really wants is a difficult question to answer.

I often wonder how much of what my parents were and were not shaped what I have become.

My daughter actually just taught herself to ride this past weekend. Her biggest hurdle was getting over the fear of crashing. She started out balancing for a few days before she just magically started pedaling.

[seg_lol]

Riding a bike is hard. It is a lot like swimming, so many motions at the same time. The body has to think it, not the cortex. There is this great smarter everyday segment on a reverse bike. I recommend it for everyone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFzDaBzBlL0

My kids first word was, "no". Her first sentence was, "help me no". I use those as guides to maintain the distance she desires.

Athletics like art are one of those accomplishments and outlets that kids can embrace at a young age w/o having the "when I grow up" statements. They can start living their lives in the now w/o adults putting it off to a later date.

Watching a kid finally get riding a bike is a wonderful thing.

[knaq]

I take issue with the idea that "Children want to please their parents".

Especially around age 13 or 14, pissing off parents is a sport.

[seg_lol]

Yeah you only get 6 or 7 years before the relationship changes. Seemingly large for the child but a fleeting blip for the parents.

[tmaly]

Is this true for all cultures or only Western ones?