Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by colmvp 2096 days ago
I was just watching an old YouTube video of a couple guys throwing a giant rock off a bridge into a river in a remote part of the U.S with no one around. It was 20 seconds long.

If it were produced in 2020, you'd have 10 minutes of useless preamble including discussion about how hyped they are to throw a rock, how difficult it is to carry a rock, fake drama about being followed by non-existent security, a drone shot of the environment, how awesome it was to throw a rock, and random memes. Use my promo code ROCKMAN to post your first job free on ZipRecruiter and hire your own rock thrower, and don't forget to Like this video to smash that Subscribe button!

6 comments

Hey, what's up everyone, it's your man Todd. I'm back with another video and, today, we're gonna throw a giant rock off this bridge! But first, a word from our sponsor.

Now, I don't play games very much, but I've been playing Raid: Shadow Legends and I can't get enough! It's got all sorts of shit that other games have, but Plarium let me play Raid: Shadow Legends for free. Boo yah! Trust me, you won't want to leave your mom's basement again once you've played Raid: Shadow Legends. Use my exclusive code right now to get 3% off and a free wrist brace for carpal tunnel.

OK guys, so I'm gonna tell you a story about how I've been throwing rocks off this bridge for years. You see, my ol' grandpappy showed me how to throw rocks into the river when I was 10, and he told me "Boy, life's a lot like these rocks. It goes up and up, and one day you find it plunging straight into an icy river of death." And that just really inspired me, y'know? Rest in peace, ol' man. I love ya! Hey Frank, did your grandpa ever teach you to throw rocks into a river?

3 minutes later at a convenience store

Sorry, we can't film in here? We just wanted to buy some snacks. Yo, we're just a youtube channel, alright? It's not cool? Okay, fine, we'll turn it off. You coulda just been cool about it, jeez.

8 minutes of nonsense later

(couple walks by)

How y'all doin'? Oh, we're just having some good wholesome fun here, throwing rocks into the river.

Oh shit, I hope we don't see Officer Bradley around here again. The last time we throw a rock off the bridge he was like "You darn kids" and I was like "Whoa, bro, chill!"

3 minutes later

Alright, here goes nothin'!

(throws giant rock off bridge)

Guys, this was incredible! That's actually one of the BIGGEST rocks we've ever thrown in here! Unbelievable, dude. Oh. My god. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Another 3 minutes of bro'ing around

So guys, if you want to see what happened after we threw that rock into the river, stay tuned for my "Tossing a Rock into the River AFTERMATH" video.

Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe! Also, don't forget to hit the bell icon and select "All".

Wow that's perfect. Even the plug for a mobile game lol
Thanks, I hate it!!

I try and keep myself insulated from this kind of garbage YouTube but sometimes it starts to leak into channels I used to love. It's made me unsubscribe more than once.

The formula is so recognizable now that I assume it has to work on the majority of people?

I'd like to know which video you transcribed this from. /s
This comment is perfection
thanks man, I laughed like crazy. Do you have more?
Smash that subscribe button for more content like this.
Strictly speaking, 20 seconds of content would only require 9 minutes and 40 seconds of useless padding in order to propitiate The Algorithm.
The ten minute minimum recently changed to eight.
That's all thanks to the Youtube algorithm.
YouTube started as a place for anyone to post videos. But it quickly became a place for people to build a business posting videos.

The algorithm makes it hard to find the videos without the cruft but I imagine they are uploaded by the millions.

No you can get additional monetization options for 10min or longer videos, they incentivize the padding.

https://www.quora.com/How-does-making-a-10-minute-video-on-Y...

This comment made me so happy.

I must ask: what led you to view this video?

But did you like and subscribe? Did anyone, because if someone did their time at the start wasn't wasted.
> 10 minutes

And 1 second