[GiorgioG]

> lack of socialization at this age is a very real and serious public health concern

(No offense intended) I keep hearing this and wonder what proof we have of this? I have two kids, one introvert, one extrovert and neither seem to have been impacted. Sure they'd like to hang out with friends, but they're basically the same personality/kids/temperament they had pre-pandemic.

[nxc18]

Not a parent, but fwiw even the fully grown adults I've interacted with are starting to show serious deficits in social skills after months of relative isolation. I've historically been on the socially awkward side, so its kind of refreshing to be the comparatively graceful one.

I don't know if there's evidence, but if this were to go on for years I could see kids missing milestones. Having gone to school with kids who were homeschooled without proper socialization for too long, I can comfortably say social skills need to be learned. It may not seem like much, but not knowing how to interact with peers comfortably is a serious problem, especially as you start to enter situations like interviewing for a job or trying to make friends in a new city.

[bradlys]

> Not a parent, but fwiw even the fully grown adults I've interacted with are starting to show serious deficits in social skills after months of relative isolation. I've historically been on the socially awkward side, so its kind of refreshing to be the comparatively graceful one.

Huh? I've not experienced this at all with anyone I've seen during the pandemic - even with people who I've only talked online with. This includes people who have basically not seen anyone in person for months and aren't working.

What are these "serious deficits in social skills" you're noticing in adults?

[nxc18]

At the few socially distanced gatherings I’ve been too, as well as when running into people in the streets, there’s been a lack of the usual nuance and care that I typically expect. That’s mainly expressed through less careful filtering, either of direct content or indirect content. E.g. evidence of marital strife that would normally be papered over more effectively might come out. Words are chosen less carefully causing unintended meaning to leak out. What might normally be a ‘we’ turns into ‘me’ and ‘her’.

An example from this weekend, I ran into a colleague in town who is having a hard time - his roommate moved back East in May and the core parts of his social group are either immunocompromised or left the area shortly before his current absent roommate moved in. He was having trouble masking how anxious he was. There were untimely interjections. He mentioned wishing he could talk to people who didn’t work for our company - it’s a company town and no one our age/socioeconomic class (that’s an ugly thought but I won’t go down that rabbit hole) works anywhere else. I would expect him to be more nuanced in expressing the idea of hating small talk with people that work at our company, given we were actively making small talk and I work at said company.

Maybe serious is a stretch, but I’m seeing the typical CS/engineer social deficits expressed in people who are in sales/management roles and in people who previously were more capable. It probably wouldn’t stand out in San Francisco or a tech school campus, but in my current circumstances it certainly does.

This isn’t a judgment of anyone involved - everyone I’ve talked about I love to death. As a socially awkward person myself, I tend to love and appreciate other socially awkward people. They just might run into challenges when the stakes are higher.

[bradlys]

> there’s been a lack of the usual nuance and care that I typically expect. That’s mainly expressed through less careful filtering, either of direct content or indirect content.

I wouldn't call those behaviors "socially awkward". Given the time we're in - I think people realize there's little reason to try to save face. In all likelihood, they're trying to be more real about things they're facing because they realize everyone is dealing with a lot of the same shit.

You might also see people reaching out more than they did before (in terms of depth of interaction/complaints - less superficial) because - well - they can't socialize as much with others. They might start socializing with people more intimately than in the past because it's what they have available.

None of the stuff you're saying sounds very... socially awkward. It just sounds more honest...

[pgrote]

We are in the same situation with kids of the same temperament. The extrovert has discovered self initiative play and done some creative things. The introvert discovered roblox and picsart and is now more social than ever before. It has sort of worked out for them.

More to your question, how would you study something like that? Previously home schooled students who had limited social interactions?

[actfrench]

If one were to study that, I don't know if homeschoolers are the best group to look at. Also, it's tricky because there is a big difference between healthy socialization and unhealthy socialization. Are we talking about being completely alone or being in a huge group with no friends?

I don't know that this would work so well because lack of socialization is one of the biggest myths about homeschooling. The homeschoolers I know hang out in the park for hours 2-3 times a week, do skill shares together, take classes and electives, travel the world. This pandemic has been harder , if not more so than other groups, because they can't use the world as their classroom in the way they've done before. Also, many children struggle mighily in school. Just because there are lots of people there doesn't mean kids don't feel incredibly isolated. A bad social experience (Eg being bullied and isolated in school. Bullying and systemic racism run rampant in our schools. Teachers are exhausted spending most of their time managing behavior rather than getting time to teach and facilitate healthy social-emotional learning in the classroom.

I started a digital pod this fall and some of our kids didn't say a single word in class last fall. Now, in a group of 5-6 kids they are actively participating, sharing their hopes and dreams. Some communicate verbally, others prefer to observe.

[rhn_mk1]

> the same personality/kids/temperament they had pre-pandemic.

I would not stop there when considering the topic. Socialization is a process, and its goal is growth, not stagnation.

That being said, it's also gradual, making it difficult to measure over a few months.