[nxc18]

Not a parent, but fwiw even the fully grown adults I've interacted with are starting to show serious deficits in social skills after months of relative isolation. I've historically been on the socially awkward side, so its kind of refreshing to be the comparatively graceful one.

I don't know if there's evidence, but if this were to go on for years I could see kids missing milestones. Having gone to school with kids who were homeschooled without proper socialization for too long, I can comfortably say social skills need to be learned. It may not seem like much, but not knowing how to interact with peers comfortably is a serious problem, especially as you start to enter situations like interviewing for a job or trying to make friends in a new city.

[bradlys]

> Not a parent, but fwiw even the fully grown adults I've interacted with are starting to show serious deficits in social skills after months of relative isolation. I've historically been on the socially awkward side, so its kind of refreshing to be the comparatively graceful one.

Huh? I've not experienced this at all with anyone I've seen during the pandemic - even with people who I've only talked online with. This includes people who have basically not seen anyone in person for months and aren't working.

What are these "serious deficits in social skills" you're noticing in adults?

[nxc18]

At the few socially distanced gatherings I’ve been too, as well as when running into people in the streets, there’s been a lack of the usual nuance and care that I typically expect. That’s mainly expressed through less careful filtering, either of direct content or indirect content. E.g. evidence of marital strife that would normally be papered over more effectively might come out. Words are chosen less carefully causing unintended meaning to leak out. What might normally be a ‘we’ turns into ‘me’ and ‘her’.

An example from this weekend, I ran into a colleague in town who is having a hard time - his roommate moved back East in May and the core parts of his social group are either immunocompromised or left the area shortly before his current absent roommate moved in. He was having trouble masking how anxious he was. There were untimely interjections. He mentioned wishing he could talk to people who didn’t work for our company - it’s a company town and no one our age/socioeconomic class (that’s an ugly thought but I won’t go down that rabbit hole) works anywhere else. I would expect him to be more nuanced in expressing the idea of hating small talk with people that work at our company, given we were actively making small talk and I work at said company.

Maybe serious is a stretch, but I’m seeing the typical CS/engineer social deficits expressed in people who are in sales/management roles and in people who previously were more capable. It probably wouldn’t stand out in San Francisco or a tech school campus, but in my current circumstances it certainly does.

This isn’t a judgment of anyone involved - everyone I’ve talked about I love to death. As a socially awkward person myself, I tend to love and appreciate other socially awkward people. They just might run into challenges when the stakes are higher.

[bradlys]

> there’s been a lack of the usual nuance and care that I typically expect. That’s mainly expressed through less careful filtering, either of direct content or indirect content.

I wouldn't call those behaviors "socially awkward". Given the time we're in - I think people realize there's little reason to try to save face. In all likelihood, they're trying to be more real about things they're facing because they realize everyone is dealing with a lot of the same shit.

You might also see people reaching out more than they did before (in terms of depth of interaction/complaints - less superficial) because - well - they can't socialize as much with others. They might start socializing with people more intimately than in the past because it's what they have available.

None of the stuff you're saying sounds very... socially awkward. It just sounds more honest...