[greggman3]

I used to believe people were born beautiful and there is some truth to it but even the people I've thought were most beautiful, if I look hard enough, generally I can see they're just normal people who spend more time on grooming, style, clothing, posture, presentation, charm, etc... Maybe they got lucky and some of it came naturally, not necessarily genetically though possibly but more like serendipity to gain those habits or skills.

Take the most beautiful person you know and see them when they're sick and they rarely stay attractive.

In any case it's arguably learnable. I don't know if this example will resonate but certain cities have a culture of beauty. Tokyo is one. People dress up to go out, at least most women do. I use to think it was either (a) they were born attractive or (b) the city attracted beautiful people. But, I've changed my mind. Instead the city culture has set a standard and people, in general, feel pressure to try to adhere to it.

I know it's an anecdote but a very attractive women once told me the only difference between attractive and not is effort. We all probably know exceptions but in my experience they are fairly rare. I'm not saying everyone can be a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 but I'm confident the majority of people can be 7-8 even 9 with effort. Many of the most beautiful people I know, put them in drab clothing with no make up and try to remove your memory of their prior attractiveness and they just look like plain ordinary people.

[ericmcer]

You can't be unattractive and then hit the gym for a few months and put on a collared shirt and be hot. Better looking than before sure, but not beautiful. It is a nice myth for people to comfort themselves with I guess. It is also viewed as unattractive to 'try really hard' when it comes to physical appearance so you can have the reverse affect if your efforts to make yourself attractive are too blatant.

[swat535]

Yea exactly, no amount of exercising will change your height as a man or the way you look.

E.g All else being equal, you're going to have a hard time finding a partner if you are 5'5 male.

Unfortunately, unattractive people will have to put in a lot more effort to succeed in life, especially with regards to dating.

[driven20]

I'm 5'5. Working out won't change your height but it definitely changes the way you look. I have a beautiful girlfriend. I also have been compliment plenty of times on the way my clothes fit and how I'm in great shape.

Yes, being short sucks, but it sucks not being born a millionaire too. No reason to be down about it.

If you think being short sucks, try being short AND bitter.

[LandR]

> I know it's an anecdote but a very attractive women once told me the only difference between attractive and not is effort.

I think this is nonsense. I'm like a 2/10 looks wise on a good day. No amount of effort is getting that number anywhere close to what people find acceptable.

I can wear the nicest clothes money can buy, I'm still going to be seen as a well dressed ugly guy.

[greggman3]

Unless you've got leprosy or elephant man disease you're more likely than not lying to yourself and refusing to take responsibility for your present situation

https://www.google.com/search?q=ugly+to+handsome+transformat...

https://www.google.com/search?q=ugly+to+hot+transformations&...

I'm sure you'll rebel against my "tough love" but you can only lead a horse to water ...