[dgzl]

I'm always ignored when I ask for help. Being a person who "takes it like a man" in a sense, as in absorbs these problems for greater overall execution, I'm always ignored when I bring up my problems. "Tough shit" is the general attitude. Unless I'm highly expressive or emotional nobody takes it seriously. But if I'm being that emotional it's already too late.

[watwut]

Squeaky wheel gets the oil. Absorbing problems for good overall execution benefits others, but they get used to it as normal and take it as granted after a while. Then they don't know what to do on change, because they have no experience with it.

[ck425]

It's worth looking into make support groups. There's various movements starting up support groups for men run by men, who are trying to break that stigma. I don't know where you are based but have a Google and you may find a local one.

[dgzl]

Funny enough, I looked at my local meetups and the biggest one is run by a woman. It's probably a good idea anyway.

[mercer]

And if possible/available, talking to a therapist can be a huge help. For various reasons I don't talk about various serious issues to my nearest and dearest, and it's been really helpful to have someone to talk to every two weeks who is 1) not entangled with the various issues, 2) paid to listen, and 3) professionally trained to do so.

While, anything is probably better than nothing, I've found that it's crucial to find a therapist that one 'clicks' with. I wasted quite a bit of time sticking with a therapist who didn't help (and possibly made things worse, much as she meant well).

If a therapist is not an option, I also recommend support groups. In some ways those have been even /more/ of a help than a therapist, because the fact that they're not paid does matter, and the fact that it's a solution without an end-date comforted me.

As a thirty-something, 1) I wish that I looked for help earlier, and 2) I would do everything in my power to move to a different place if I couldn't find the support wherever I was. It's been /that/ helpful.

[hrktb]

Not knowing your environment, trying to find other doctors could help.

A lot of practicians have surprisingly little knowledge or very old views on depression. Some will very strongly argue against medication for instance, while others try multiple simultaneous approach. Some will throw the same medication every time they hear "depression" and call it a day, while there is a variety of drugs on the market and a regular follow-up on the situation can help find ones that effectively work.

[draven]

I have the same issue for physical problems. I don't like to complain and I'm not really expressive. Physical appearance may also play a role (I'm 1.95m/95kg.) I had a double hernia with sciatic nerve inflammation go undiagnosed for quite some time before I took my wife with me to the doc and she complained in my stead. In any case, I've been postponing going to a psychologist for exactly this reason: I'm convinced I won't be taken seriously.

[sonofhans]

> I'm convinced I won't be taken seriously.

As a fellow large male, I totally hear you. Getting empathy can be challenging.

WRT psychologists -- audition them. Schedule initial visits with 3, make all those visits, then see if you feel that one of them has listened and can help.

This inverts the power dynamic, at least to begin with. You're actively choosing someone who will work for you, and based on some of your own felt evidence. You don't have to worry about "making it work" with the 1 counselor you chose to begin with.

This is common practice. No good counselor will be surprised by it. Any who argue it can easily be dropped from your short list.

Baring your soul to 3 strangers sure can be daunting. I find it gets easier. And again, if it sucks with one of them, probably that's not the counselor for you.

[mercer]

I've seen multiple therapists and while every time I assumed the worst, every single time I was surprised by how seriously my issues were taken, or at least by how willing I was to believe this to be the case :). And I'm an incredibly paranoid/suspicious person!