[iamzozo]

Or just move on. There are some situations or people where “smart” approach doesn’t solve anything. The article has good points. If we understand others, we can handle things easier, but also can be lost in the dark. It takes time and energy, some cases doesn’t worth the quest.

[orev]

The “just find another job” trope is tiresome and overused. This seems to be commonly thrown around in a hand-wavy way, and it ignores a large part of reality.

The idea that one can just move to another job is a luxury in many places. Many areas have only one or two employers, so there’s simply no place to go.

There’s also the fact that no matter where you go, you will likely always find someone you don’t get along with. Learning to deal with those people is a life skill.

[watwut]

Not just luxury, but it is making us collectively incapable of dealing with bad actors. Over time, we (as an industry or culture or whatever) are loosing behaviors and skills needed to expose or minimize harm.

Meanwhile, culture is increasingly dictated by bad actors - making it even harder to oppose them. For example, some of what is said to be "professionalism" are basically rules that make it harder to deal with bad actors or companies.

[iamzozo]

I meant move on as thinking, not switching a job. I’m working in an enviroment where are limited options to switch. Dealing with it, as you don’t do it. As others also wrote about bad actors. You cannot go on a path where you won’t find any. From my point and experience, sometimes you shouldn’t care. If you don’t like 5% of your coworkers or just one, thats totally fine. But if I want to go further, you may not dislike them. They are just not the same. I don’t think the only way is some scientific/psycholgical explanation to get over with them.

Edit: I switched because of this, taking the risk, it’s worth it. At the current place I got another bad actor, but we could manage these differences.

[sysbin]

I agree. People that dislike someone, wait for things to confirm their personal bias and ignore positive things the disliked person does. First impressions are so important and prevent unreasonable headaches with someone.