[specialist]

I wish there were more articles like this about communications, organizational psychology, effective coordination, etc.

But mostly, I wish there were ways to recognize, navigate, negotiate people's different styles.

TMI from recent my turn at the woodshed:

Noob manager (Jane) is unhappy with my communication. Wants more detail. Her prerogative, so I try. So in addition to adjacent desks, always on Skype, standups, status reports, very verbose commit messages, novels added to JIRA tickets, I start writing daily status reports.

Months of "improvement", no change in satisfaction.

So us chickens are sitting around trying to troubleshoot something. Me (Bob) and another coworker (Stan) casually noticed that a third (Steve) seems to have a great working relationship with manager (Jane).

Stan and I are astonished (gobsmacked) to learn that Steve is privately texting (via Skype) Jane 15-20 times per day. The smallest updates. "Just committed changes for JIRA 123". "PR 303 approved and merged." "Build successful!" All sorts of emoji.

I would have NEVER thought to spam my manager all day every day. But that's apparently what Jane wants.

The weird part in all this, like most miscommunication, is Jane couldn't say what she wants. Nor did it occur to her to tell Stan and me to be more like Steve.

[hairofadog]

Same: I struggle with finding a balance between too much and too little information for different people. For a while I wrote detailed, (and in my opinion, clear) status reports for my higher-ups, but nobody ever read them, so I stopped.

There was a line in an old TV show that stuck with me: one of the characters asks, “When’s the date of that dinner again?” The other character says, “It’s Saturday, I just told you that.” The first character replies, “Yeah, but I only listen when I ask.”

In my experience, each person has their own way of listening, and it’s a challenge to keep straight who consumes information in which way:

* Person A only reads the first line of any email, so you have to ask each question or offer each nugget of information in a separate email and there can only be a maximum of two sentences in the message

* Person B only wants to be told the information verbally in the hallway or in a meeting or over lunch, not in written form

* Person C has a lot going on and only has mental RAM, no long-term storage, so they want to be reminded of everything repeatedly: “Just a reminder, I’m out Feb. 15th.” Then “Just a reminder, I’m out next week.” Then, “Just a reminder, I’m out later this week.” then, “Just a reminder, I’m out tomorrow.”

* Person D needs quantified data, charts, and graphs

Etc. I’m not complaining – it’s the human condition, it is what it is – but personally I find it challenging to thread the needle.

[specialist]

Thanks. Really good reply.

My response is that I will now be on the lookout for new strategies, ideas.

I imagine some kind of HR, team building, skill training exercises where everyone discovers each other's communication style(s). Most of it will be hooey, but there will certainly be some kernels of truth.

It also now occurs to me that UX & ethnography types could observe users to infer what works. Eye gaze, like buttons, time spent, etc. Imagine building "emotional intelligence" like feedback tools into Skype.

I know it's creepy. But brainstorming might lead to something useful.

Anyway, thanks again.

[thrower123]

Good lord. I couldn't imagine that level of communication; it strikes me as horrifyingly unprofessional. More like the way I texted my wife when we had just started dating than anything I would ever consider in the office.

If that's what was really wanted by management, I'd have to spend a half day writing some git hooks or toss in a notification rule on the CI server to auto-generate cutesy micro-status updates.