[watwut]

Literally all adults I know react to their emotions. Including those who hide them, they are still reactive to own emotions.

> That is exactly about learning how to be alone, it's like if one is accidentally got into deep water they can drown but if you do it slowly, consciously, you become more and more comfortable, stop worrying and start enjoying it.

That is not how long term isolation work. Yes, your social skills will go down and you will start avoiding people - it will be too tiring to talk to them. That is not the same as being happy isolated tho. That is more of being unhappy no matter what.

> Unfortunately in western culture this was not understood and denied on many levels, and I see how that links to current epidemic of loneliness.

It is quite common situation of temporary stay at home moms. Few years in mostly isolation. That is not exactly lost or unusual situation at all.

> It can also be done with support, like they do in retreats and some monasteries.

There is way more in being nun then just isolation. There is also complete control over pretty much everything you do, who you talk with and what emotions you show. Obeissance and routine.

Not that I would see that as super healthy tho.

[mapcars]

>Literally all adults I know react to their emotions

If they can react consciously I'd expect them not to get into sadness or depression like at all.

>There is way more in being nun then just isolation

I'm not talking about extreme isolation, more like buddhist places where you can stay for a week or month without talking and not knowing other people and just face how it is to be alone. Not isolated alone, but "socially" alone and all arrangements are made so you don't worry about stuff like food and can fully go into it.

[watwut]

> and all arrangements are made so you don't worry about stuff like food and can fully go into it

Then you have help of people who do arrangements and even complete dependence on them. If you get sick, they will take you to doctor. If you will have mental breakdown, they will take you out.

Being alone as in without "help you when you're sad, desperate, sick" means that if you are sick, you go to store and you cook and you have to pick up kids from school no matter how bad it feels. It means that if your close one dies or you loose job, you are still alone and with no one to talk with.

> where you can stay for a week or month without talking and not knowing other people and just face how it is to be alone

That will not teach you to be alone. Week or month of being alone is like ... nothing. It is comfortable holidays, everything is arranged so that no external event have even possibility to influence you. Even if you lost job during this time, you would not know.

> If they can react consciously I'd expect them not to get into sadness or depression like at all.

Oh they do. And they do go to anger too. And to frustration.

[mapcars]

>If you get sick, they will take you to doctor. If you will have mental breakdown, they will take you out.

They will take you to the doctor but no mental help as this is exactly what you have to learn to handle there.

>Being alone as in without "help you when you're sad, desperate, sick" means that if you are sick, you go to store and you cook and you have to pick up kids from school no matter how bad it feels. It means that if your close one dies or you loose job, you are still alone and with no one to talk with.

So if this happens and you haven't found how to handle loneliness it will be much more devastating than if you have had some similar experience before. I am talking about doing it in a "safe" but still real atmosphere which will develop certain qualities. Of course, real-life staff will be different, but it's better to have some idea of how it is.

>That will not teach you to be alone. Week or month of being alone is like ... nothing. It is comfortable holidays, everything is arranged

This depends on you if month is a holiday for you - go for 1 year. If you don't like comfort - there are places where you have to cook, you have to clean, wash and so on.

>Oh they do. And they do go to anger too. And to frustration.

To me, this means they don't know how to manage their emotions. I don't know what you mean when you say "they all can".

[reroute1]

>Literally all adults I know react to their emotions

>> If they can react consciously I'd expect them not to get into sadness or depression like at all.

This feels backwards. Sometimes depression is the correct response to what is happening in the world. Just because you are conscious of what is transpiring within really isn't going to stop true depression.

What do you say to someone who recently lost a loved one in a brutal senseless manner? Oh, you should just like react consciously and not be sad...

[mapcars]

>Sometimes depression is the correct response to what is happening in the world. Just because you are conscious of what is transpiring within really isn't going to stop true depression.

The response is what you choose. If you choose depression - ok, that's your choice. But don't call it correct and don't force other people to feel bad when they choose another response.

>What do you say to someone who recently lost a loved one in a brutal senseless manner?

If it was very recent I would say some supportive things. But otherwise, I would show them that life still goes on, because the only way to end suffering is to accept the reality whichever way it is.

[reroute1]

> But don't call it correct and don't force other people to feel bad when they choose another response.

Why not? Why is depression not a correct response? I don't think you know much about depression or psychology

[mapcars]

>Why not? Why is depression not a correct response?

Because there is no correct response or every response is correct. All your responses are trained by society where you grew up, it is clearly visible if you visit other cultures where people don't create much drama about death and accept it as a natural process, even celebrate.

>I don't think you know much about depression or psychology

You may think anything you want, that's not a problem.

[reroute1]

That's nonsensical. Every response is not correct. When there is a tragedy if you go around with a big grin on your face and laugh about it, people will instantly view you as a maniac, as they should.

Of course perspective and personal choice plays into your reactions, but for a tragic event depression is the normal and correct response. To say otherwise is just ill-informed and foolish. You can look at this as existential or stoically as you want, it doesn't change the facts of human psychology.

And death is just one example of something that COULD be tragic. If some culture celebrates death that's fine, maybe it's the rain they view as tragic, and in that case they would be depressed when it rains, and that would be the normal response to their "tragedy". People don't celebrate things that depress them by definition, although what that thing is may be different events across cultures. Death is a good example because almost all cultures do not celebrate it, they are saddened and mourn. How about when that tribe that celebrates death is attacked by their neighbours, do they still celebrate the death of their loved ones in the same way? I doubt it, because that's a tragic event not just a natural part of life. Which was my original example. before you twisted it into something very different. I said a loved one brutally and tragically killed. There's no culture that would celebrate that, and to be saddened and depressed is absolutely the correct response. Can people really choose to not be affected by something like that? It sounds patronizing to think that is something you can just will away and also unhealthy. Grieving, depression, sadness can all be healthy and normal. Sometimes it is the correct response to what is happening in the world, which is what I said in my first post.