[tehlike]

We lost our first early in the pregnancy. I was really surprised how the doctor tried to keep a distance by calling it a fetus when my wife said "is my baby fine". Lets not get ahead of ourselves, doctor said. I thought it was cold, but also sensed bad news was on the way.

And after pregnancy, it was also very impersonal, nurses called my wife "mom" every single time, as if she had no personality. That also was probably helping newly minted moms cope with the confusion that comes after birth by reinforcing their status.

Weird experience, but definitely worth every minute of it.

[Al-Khwarizmi]

It felt good to me (and I think to her, too) when nurses called my partner "mom" after pregnancy. It was like when a sergeant performs some heroic deed in a book and the general suddenly calls them colonel: a hard-earned title (it took a lot of pain to finally earn it, and some fears of miscarriage before that...) to wear with pride.

They are very personal and emotional moments so I can totally see how it can rub different people different ways, though.

[tehlike]

I think calling her mom was ok, but saying things like "how are you" vs "how is the mom doing", "is mom feeling any pain" etc felt less personal.

[nikkikayauthor]

Oh yeah. I can see how that would be irritating to say the least. Please use second person and address me directly, don’t talk around me. I literally don’t remember anyone actually asking me anything until I was in the ER with 104 temp wondering if attempting to have a child might actually kill me instead. And even then it was like, “why you crying?”