[0_gravitas]

Not OP but I've never liked the notion of "too soon" as a reason for not doing/saying things, it feels very arbitrary. And I don't know much about the person of subject but I will speak ill of anyone living or dead if they are someone worth speaking ill of.

[jeffdavis]

There are two separate issues: speaking ill of the dead at all; and speaking disrespectfully too soon after a death.

Speaking ill of the dead at all is generally not good because the person is no longer able to defend their reputation, and no remedy can be made. The dead is no longer in a position of power to be removed, nor can they improve themselves out of remorse. So of something ill is to be said, saying it after death is too late, not too soon.

"Too soon" is problematic because you are using a death as an opportunity to amplify your own message, and because it can amplify the grief of those left behind.

[p1necone]

I don't know that I consider calling people out for shitty things they've done to be "disrespectful". Calling people out for shitty things they haven't done would be be disrespectful.

[smallnamespace]

The problem with that attitude is that we all live in glass houses.

Unless you truly believed that if we were to go through your life with a fine toothed comb, nobody could find anything at all objectionable?

[fzeroracer]

What about those that were harmed by the individual in question? Does it make sense to shame them into silence when they deal with grief and pain of their own?

We should remember people as they were in totality. That means recognizing that people are human, and humans can be remarkably awful to some while putting on a good face to others.

[milemi]

You totally convinced me, I’m so sorry now for all the bad stuff I said about Hitler.

[jerf]

It is not for the deceased; it is for the family of the deceased and others left behind. They are grieving and don't need to also have to deal with rumors adding to their pain. They didn't do it.

It is also a simple application of the Golden Rule; you would not care for everyone around you to take your death as an opportunity to slag you, neither should you do it to you other fellow humans, all condemned to die one day as well.

There will be more days. It doesn't have to be done today.

[Barrin92]

>It is also a simple application of the Golden Rule; you would not care for everyone around you to take your death as an opportunity to slag you

if I ever turn into someone who gets a reputation for molesting young college students drag me all you want, hell rent a billboard for all I care and chuck my remains into the trashcan.

If I ever figured out that one of my family members engaged in behaviour like this I would not mind it one single bit if their accusers spoke about it the day they died, the only thing I'd be sad about is that I didn't know sooner.

[TurkishPoptart]

>if I ever turn into someone who gets a reputation for molesting young college students drag me all you want, hell rent a billboard for all I care and chuck my remains into the trashcan.

>If I ever figured out that one of my family members engaged in behaviour like this I would not mind it one single bit if their accusers spoke about it the day they died, the only thing I'd be sad about is that I didn't know sooner.

He touched a woman's thigh and then died.

[oska]

The family of a controversial public figure would do better not to expose themselves to public discussion of that person soon after their death but to grieve privately.

And if people are speaking ill of the dead it's highly likely that people were speaking ill of them before they died too, so any 'ill-speak' is hardly likely to be news to them.

(I'm speaking from principle here; I personally have nothing ill to say about Harold Bloom).

[beerandt]

To me, it's more about giving someone a chance to defend themselves. If you said the same thing to their face when they were alive, then fine. Continue to say it after they pass. But to all of a sudden have an opinion, or to air a grudge that you've never thought worthy of speaking about publicly before? That's cowardice.

And yes, I'm including victims who felt they had something to lose. Those are the claims someone has the greatest interest in defending themselves against.