[perl4ever]

"they figured hey, what better way for him to find all the pain points and automate them"

So, I'm not clear on why you haven't been able to do that?

I got to where I hated the developer culture, and got a job that was outside of it, where I had access to nothing except MS Office, and had the epiphany that it's Turing complete, I can do anything!

[JetezLeLogin]

In a nutshell I'm spending most or all of my time using the tools (keeping up with a queue) not working on them. To work on them I need either permission to fall behind in the queue (probably not an option) or someone else to cover for me. I'll probably pursue that latter option.

[abledon]

that's like something out of Kafka. It would be fitting to incorporate Kafka, the technology, into your solution .