[marble-drink]

I cannot find a woman who will be a full time mother after giving birth. I will not put my children into day care for 12 hours a day. I could afford to support a family in my own, but only with my very frugal and minimalist lifestyle (no fancy car, no expensive holidays, no eating at restaurants etc)

[wiz21c]

Well, I don't want to patronize nor be disrespectful but :

>>> frugal and minimalist lifestyle (no fancy car, no expensive holidays, no eating at restaurants etc)

This sounds like a very normal lifestyle to me. I have a "cheap" car (but have one nonetheless), I go to restaurants maybe 2 times a year (and not expensive ones; cooking myself is often much better), my holidays remains rather expensive though (around 1500 euros for the whole family).

Now, to make a joke : once you have kids, you don't have much time to enjoy a luxury car, expensive restaurants, or expensive holidays : all those little humans want is quality time with me (preferably, all my time) :-) You can also easily have cheap baby sitting in the form of a smart phone :-) (end of the joke)

[badpun]

> very frugal and minimalist lifestyle (no fancy car, no expensive holidays, no eating at restaurants etc)

That's not "very frugal and minimalistic lifestyle", that's just living for 95%+ of the world population. It's not so bad.

[marble-drink]

I didn't say it was bad. But women who work tend to do all of this and want to maintain that lifestyle which is clearly ridiculous to do on a single income with children.

[barry-cotter]

1) Church

2) Internet dating

3) Write about your quest. Publicize it.

1) Lots and lots of women want to be stay at home moms and they disproportionately go to some kind of religious service and are part of an associated community. Alternatively move to Utah. Even if you don’t want to marry religious there are ex-Mormon women who are still into children because that’s the culture.

2) If your internet dating profile says you’re seriously looking to get married you will attract entirely different people from the less serious dating/hook up crowd. And if you message women in other, more traditional countries you’ll find plenty of women who would be more than happy to be housewives in the US.

3) Have you heard of the Polgar sisters, who are all chess champions? Their father found their mother by looking for someone to run an experiment in child rearing. If you’re willing to be loud about your quest for a housewife you’ll definitely find one.

[marble-drink]

I'm not religious so going to church would feel wrong.

Internet dating is awful. My standards are too high.

The truth is finding a suitable mother is very far down my list of priorities. I know I could easily find one, but probably not a beautiful one. I don't think it's worth putting that much effort into something that is ultimately putting my heart into the hands of another person. Computers don't lie and cheat. I have sex with women but none of them are suitable to receive my support to raise children.

[Angostura]

So you do what I did - marry a woman with a good career and become a stay at home dad. Even better if you have a skill set that allows you to do some work from home, around nap times to allow you to keep your eye in.

[marble-drink]

I firmly believe that the key to happiness is to do what you're good at. For me that means working and not raising children. I will never be a stay at home dad.

[watwut]

Yeah, you are totally different from women who want to work. In their case it is selfishness and wanting things most people can easily live without.

In your case it is because work gives you happiness and totally nothing to do with material things.

Majority of women live without expensive holidays and expensive cars. Majority of men live without expensive car and men are more car-focused and tend to be the ones who control the car when car is in family. Most people, neither males nor females go to expensive restaurants.

You know what else second income does? No one can tell you that he earned money and you are wasting them. It means that you can leave when relationship goes bad. It means you can handle when husband goes sick or dies. It means that you are less vulnerable and safer.

[marble-drink]

Yeah, that's all great. But I don't want to be a part of a relationship where I'm disposed of as soon as I stop being useful.

[watwut]

And in order to achieve that, you want partner to be helpless, vulnerable and trapped?