[macspoofing]

>It only really works if you can keep it up, because once the curtain drops you could be looking at a level of deceit or betrayal that becomes incredibly difficult to reconcile as the lie becomes more complicated.

Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on the situation.

>I don't think you can call it a burden in that sense if the other person is totally oblivious to it. That's purely a burden of your own creation

So we can call it a 'burden' - why argue semantics if you agree?

>because they had no say in it, and you're basically deciding that you don't like the truth, so they won't either

Another cynical interpretation. No. That's not necessarily the consideration. That's not necessarily the right interpretation.

> where in reality it could be quite liberating.

Maybe. Maybe not.

>I don't feel that's quite as compassionate as giving someone the truth and then supporting them through that if they need it;

Maybe. Maybe not.

[ljm]

I’ve suffered people who think they’re mind readers and know what’s best for me. Whatever burden they thought I was carrying, they couldn’t have got it any more wrong. Those people stopped being a part of my life when I realised what was was going on, because what I felt was betrayed. My own feelings didn’t matter, it was their feelings about what they assumed about me that were more important to them.

As such, I would favour open communication instead of being ‘protected’. That requires serious trust. And a lot of these games that we play depend on a lack of trust.

There’s nothing cynical about this, we’ve all done things with good intentions in mind only to get bad results. Oftentimes it’s because we’re acting in our own interest and not the person we’re putting it on.

[macspoofing]

It depends. That's all I'm saying here. It is t an absolute answer.