[chadwilken]

I am the CTO of a semi-successful startup but I believe, this is actually my biggest cause of stress and depression. I have been a software developer for roughly 8 years so I am still learning a lot. I was able to scale the company to handle hundreds of thousands of photos a day but the second I hired a more senior developer I find myself feeling like an imposter. I am always second-guessing myself, how I name things, how I am organizing my code to the point where I really start to become unproductive. I worry that the more senior developer is judging me or something, even though he is pretty laid back. In my personal life, I am spread way too thin due to debt from medical bills and a growing family. I find it takes a toll on me physically, which ironically, leads to more medical bills. I feel like I am stuck at my current company and in my current position. I wish I could get back to just being a software developer without all of the CTO stuff. I always feel bad complaining about these things because they seem so first-world, but it is constantly on my mind. I am just waiting for the day we make an exit and I can do something else.

[chpmrc]

I'm way less experienced than you but I can tell you without doubt: as a CTO you are not expected to be the best developer/technical person in your organization. You're supposed to have good enough skills to understand what's going on and "rockstar ninja 10x" (lol) planning and communication skills, to act as a bridge between the technical team and customers/CEO, and to make sure you provide your team with anything they might need to get their work done, including moral support.

A leader is supposed to bring smart people together, not be the smartest guy in the room.

[EulersBridge]

You phrased this way better then me. I concur.

[EulersBridge]

I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through, I can't offer you any sage words of wisdom. Just solidarity and recognition of the difficulty you must be having. I honestly have no clue what I would do in that situation. All I know is circumstances change over time. Also, you hired him because he is good, that speaks to your judgement as CTO. EDIT: Personally I tend to feel like someone who is more competent than me in a specfic area is secretly judging me, I've rarely found that to be the truth. I'm not a mind reader, but my brain tends to act like I am one.

[q5jwB6bD]

Life's Plot Twist = Most people in C-level positions are "making it up as they go along". Don't worry too much if you are not doing a "perfect" job as a CTO. I consult for a various companies and it amazes me that you can do everything wrong (sometimes illegal) and still make millions. I try to convince these companies that if they did everything right, they can make so much more money. I too wish I could go back to being a developer. Being a consultant feels like you are getting paid lunch money to do everyone else's high-school homework.

[_ah]

The job of a leader is NOT to "do the right things."

The job of a leader is to make sure the right things get done.

It's a weird mental shift.