[dyadic]

Not really.

My country is being ripped apart, everyone seems so hateful against the other, the government talks about record employment level and pay while people are using foodbanks and sleeping in the streets.

My own life is great by the standards that people usually use to measure success. But it feels so empty. I'd rather check out and go and live in a cave on a hill, but all the land and caves have been parcelled off and sold before I was even born.

So here I am, I continue to live, step over people on my way to work, where I sit and help contribute to climate change, feel the guilt of all of it and wanting to change it but without knowing how.

[jborichevskiy]

I can relate; I found myself in a fairly similar place mentally myself a half-year ago. The thing is, you're not alone and it's possible to start making steps towards trying to make a positive difference.

For the intersection of climate change and tech - check out Impact Makers [1] and their Slack community. Plenty of developers, designers, PMs, and data analysts working on various projects and companies across the spectrum of tackling climate change. I'd also recommend looking at and perhaps attending some effective altruism meetups in your city - it's a nice way to meet real people thinking about the same things with similar goals. Lastly I've found the 80,000 Hours website [2] to be a great resource for getting an idea of potential job paths, openings, and resources.

It hasn't been an instant fix but after setting some long-term goals in this space and starting to work towards them I've felt my mental health improve. I hope yours can too!

[1] - https://techimpactmakers.com/

[2] - https://80000hours.org/

[MentallyRetired]

I'd ask what third world country you live in, but it really sounds like America right now.

[toyg]

I’d bet good money parent was talking about the UK.

But yes, a lot of countries are like that at the moment.

[dyadic]

Yes, I'm in the UK. And yes, it does appear to be worldwide.

[partomniscient]

It's like, what do you do after you realise The Hoax? : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2VIUcuF3KE

[switch007]

I watched it 12 years ago stoned/drunk in uni. Good question. Can't say it got any better

[k_]

Does any country _not_ sound like that? I'd like to go there.

[rocqua]

If that is the case, things seem pretty good here in the Netherlands.

[marcosdumay]

I was certain it was the same as I live up to the point he talked about record employment levels...

Well, at least we get to know how people feel during major world changes.

[draxofavalon]

Yes, it feels like Argentina to me. I'm in Argentina.

[epiphanitus]

Wow really? That's fascinating. Can you tell us more?

[schnitzelstoat]

I was thinking the UK due to Brexit and austerity under the Conservatives etc.

[rubicon33]

I was thinking the US because of the viscous atmosphere between democrats / conservatives.

It feels like we're sliding backwards in civil discourse and it's quite disappointing. We've lost all patience for our neighbor. It's all a black and white, right or wrong, "where do YOU stand?" environment.

[jtcruthers]

That may be what its like in social media, but IRL really doesn't seem to care that much. At least in my cushy midwestern city.

[dyadic]

I'm in the UK, but I don't doubt that the same feeling isn't felt in the US or in any other country

[hliyan]

I'm fairly certain we're from two different countries, but you pretty much described my feelings to a T. I wonder if this is a normal pattern, or whether the world is going through some sort of slow breakdown with no recent historical precedent?

[zanny]

Information has never been this universal and dense before. A half century ago the only tragedy or suffering you were widely exposed to was that between the bounds of your daily commute and whatever the local news station decided to talk about for half an hour every day. And negativity from everywhere is leaky, and being exposed to a whole planet of it puts in scope the scale of everything broken in the world in a way that to 99.99% of individuals is untenable to even approach improving.

Theres a reason there is a correlation between intelligence and suicide rates or why if you have someone in your family with down syndrome they always seem happy. The wider your perception the more you realize how little you can actually do to influence it. The narrower the easier it is the less there is to worry about.

Nobody has the perfect answer to this problem of course, but one option I like is to budget time for it. Spend a few hours a week "trying to fix the world" and then resign the other 164 hours to trying to fix and improve yourself. If you have explicitly allocated time for something and budget for it its less invasive in the rest of your life. Hopefully. Doesn't work for everyone.

[epiphanitus]

Yes, I've been wondering this too - especially the economic part of it.

How is it that the same dynamic could be happening in so many countries that are ostensibly so different from each other?

I am inclined think that this is because of technological disruption, but how, exactly? Is this because of automation, globalization, or perhaps technology breaking governance systems somehow?

[dyadic]

I think it's because we're sold on the idea of progress (technological and other types) as leading to improvements in our lives. But generally they aren't realised.

Automation, for example, was supposed to lead to easier lives with more free time for our own activities, but as I look around I see everyone being so so busy. As a society we are able to produce more and at a greater pace, but all the proceeds of that go up to the top and all of the rest of the people lose out from it.

[Miner49er]

Maybe a recent historical precedent that sort of matches is the late 1930's? That of course led to WWII. I wouldn't say it's as bad, but there's similarities.

[rubicon33]

> I'd rather check out and go and live in a cave on a hill, but all the land and caves have been parcelled off and sold before I was even born.

You and me both brother.

[agumonkey]

Sorry to hear that.

I often think about reconciliating tech with people. Going to help climate change related companies. Or solar powered (if that's of any help) ones.

Maybe even doing small apps for associations. At my last job, I saw how the used very limited tools and people have to work with paper listings the old way even though a simple bit of software logic could alleviate a good amount of stress. I think a lot of people are looking for that.

And just yesterday I ran into a german guy who made is own recruiting agency, his clients are helping optimizing energy consumption, plus they aim at open source too. Felt like a great idea to copy.

[prawn]

On the cave front, your best bet might be car dwelling on public land. I don't know the options in the UK, but there are opportunities in Australia and loads in the US. In the US you can go camp in the forest or desert away from the chaos and (generally) only have to move every 10-14 days. Depending on the vehicle you have, you can do this with minimal expense and as a full-time lifestyle decision or just when you need to clear your head for a weekend.

It's very liberating being out in a forest or desert, especially without phone signal. Fewer distractions, fewer possessions.

[tonyedgecombe]

We don't really have the space nor the climate for that in the UK. Some people do it but it's out of desperation rather than anything else. You will get hounded by the authorities as well.

[switch007]

Feel ya man. You wrote exactly how I feel. If you're still in Yorkshire, try to get out on the moors, see the sun rise, look at the sheep. Walk through the forests. It helps me a bit!

[lazyjones]

> I continue to live, step over people on my way to work, where I sit and help contribute to climate change, feel the guilt of all of it and wanting to change it but without knowing how.

Sorry for being harsh, but please grow up and stop letting other people manipulate you by making you feel guilty about climate, your relative wealth and other things. Focus on making your own life better, leave the current climate change craze (yes, craze) for politics to address.

[Sytten]

I don't agree with your individualistic vision. This is the exact kind of mindset that brought us to where we are right now. I can tell you politics won't fix climate change, especially if people start to not care at all...

[lazyjones]

The whole point of having governments is to address issues that affect large groups of people. Personal crusades, based on distorted perception of issues due to anxiety issues, will never yield useful results.

[dyadic]

I agree that governments should be addressing these issues, my initial post was mostly about how they are not doing that, and at the same time actively telling us that everything is great.

It's almost like their own measure of success isn't the happiness and wellbeing of their citizens.

[tumaru]

Is this the UK by any chance?

[djsumdog]

I made it out a few times. After a break-in, I took off backpacking and lived off $20k NZD of savings for nearly a year:

https://khanism.org/perspective/minimalism/

I attempted this a 2nd time in a car and it wasn't quite as good, but I'm still glad I did it:

https://khanism.org/perspective/a-tale-of-two-journeys/

If you're under 30, holiday work visas are great. Tons of countries have these agreements, they're cheap ($200 ~ $300) and let you live and work in another country for a year. The US has them with Australia, NZ, Ireland and a few non-English speaking countries too. IT work doesn't require certification like some professions (medical, legal) so it's easier for us to get work.

A lot of people are afraid to make these kinds of jumps. I will admit after that last 5 month drive and watching my bank account drain, I can understand the security of a job and I probably won't take off again (unless I can get into grad school to work on my PhD). It's much more difficult with family/kids, although two people I graduated with lived out of an RV for a while and even raised their kids for the first few years in RVs. One got off the road because he got cancer and needed to settle down to be close to a hospital for treatment. The other decided to home school in the RV.

> step over people on my way to work

This was one of the reasons for the 2nd journey, because that was life in Seattle.

I think overall this concept seems nice, the "R U OK?" but it fails to actually help people from the systemic problems of dissatisfaction with life. The best intentions cannot solve issues of loneliness or missing a life partner. They cannot correct a society which pushes young men and women to get STEM jobs and fancy careers instead of going into the fields they want (honestly I think men should be encouraged to go into art and education and more fulfilling work instead of women being encouraged into the same careers that leads men to be totally unhappy with our lives; but that's a whole different rabbit hole).

I'll end this rant by saying I've been lonely for quite some time, but still recently walked away from two potential relationships. One of them brought up really early she wanted a family and the other I had shared the fact that I didn't want kids. When I was younger I always assumed I'd have kids, because every girl I dated wanted them. Now that I'm almost 40; I just don't want to bring anyone else into this world to suffer and die.

I think these problems are big, really big, and this kind of website or concept isn't going to help people really get past the feeling of deep unsatisfactions with our lives. That takes a lot more work; and a way to build a better world.

[RosanaAnaDana]

I just want to make an aside point here, that for the vast majority of people on the planet, the idea that they would have 20k in savings to take a year off is just wishful thinking.

To be able to even get to the point of having 20k in savings, you must have an incredible safety net in terms of both society and family that allows that to happen. You are incredibly privileged to have been able to even save that kind of money, let alone take a year and live with it.

[rubicon33]

Not only is the 20k savings a barrier of entry for most people, but this type of advice comes with massive assumptions about one's own life.

Good luck doing this if you're in a committed relationship. Good luck doing this if you have kids, for example.

For anyone who's put down even basic roots, this is a difficult bit of advice, if not downright unhelpful.

[djsumdog]

I mentioned the two friends who had the RV life. I meant to add that it helped they had jobs which allowed for remote work. It is a big investment too, as you're essentially buying a house that will go down in value.

If you read my other comment, I mentioned people who did the same thing that were low income too. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but if you can get it to work with your current skills and situation it's possible. You don't need a lot of money, but you do need to adjust your priorities.

And of course if you have family, commitments, etc, there are other ways you can break free. Let's list some other ideas for people. This is just one thing that I did.

[rubicon33]

Fair enough. I just see posts like this often and, to me at least, they strike me as the "easy" answer. I don't have any good answer for if you are locked into a relationship, kids, etc... That's kinda the life you chose, and you gotta take the good with the bad. I guess?

[my_usernam3]

Yeah those posts irk me too, but this one doesn't for two reasons.

1.) The general problems on this thread seem to be from professionals with good jobs, but feeling unfulfilled, depressed, lonely, ect. Thus it is a possibility for them.

2.) He opens with "this is why I did _____", and only talked about how it helped (and also hurt) HIM, not how EVERYONE should do this. Thanks for the post :)

[prawn]

It's harder in a relationship or with kids but not impossible. I travelled for a year with my now-wife and we've done 4-5 week trips since. Recently we took our three young kids (1-6yo) overseas, bought a bus and drove it around for three months. Not everyone can afford it but there are loads of people who can and just stick with the rat race grinding them into the dirt. "Maybe I'll live life when I retire."

Also, in terms of it being unhelpful, I think it's important to find a way to distill it to a scenario which isn't beyond your situation - get away for the week instead of a year, find joys in simple and cheap things, bushwalk with your kids, reduce to four days/week, etc. When someone gives their personal/general advice, it's your choice whether you find something of use there, right?

[sean2]

<quote>most people</quote> Yeah, but for a lot of people on HN, I think 20K in savings would be pretty standard.

Even considering the restrictions of relationship and kids: 30% of my office is still youg-ish, single with over $20k in savings (as far as I can guess).

Not all advice is for everyone, but I think a long, long vacation away from your current tech career, that has left you with some savings, might be a good fit for this forum.

[djsumdog]

I got the idea from a guy I met in a hostel in Australia who saved up $10k. He only did restaurant and fishing work in the US. He drank and traveled for a year until he ran out (occasionally taking up restaurant work under the table here and there).

I dated am American in Germany who lived off less than €400 a month (mostly from teaching English) for several years .. although that's kind a bad example because she lost her visa for not having enough work.

Sure my field makes it easier, but it's not necessary. I've met people who were not in high paying fields who could do the same (and honestly if I had been better with my money and lived like them, I could have made it 2 or 3 years on that much). It's really about your priorities.

[dyadic]

I have done that twice, the second time was nearly five years in total and I worked part time to sustain myself while doing it. Working part time did allow me to cultivate a better balance of life, but it was predicated on living in developing countries while leveraging my first world name and face to earn comfortably above the local market values.

I really enjoyed the time I spent away, but I do have to acknowledge that the happiness wasn't through the things that bothered being solved, but only making it easier to ignore or distract myself from them. In the end I wasn't finding the meaning that I was looking for, and the draw of family ties and relationships brought me back home.

[epiphanitus]

Yeah, wth is happening with Seattle? It's home to some of the richest people on earth, employment is high and business is booming. But every time I visit the city I always see at least two people on the street who appear to be overdosing. Fortunately EMS is well prepared for this kind of thing, but boy have things changed. It's really hard to watch and I wish I knew what I could do to help.