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by tfha 2514 days ago
My favorite is from Amazon, when selling Prime.

"We are sorry to hear that you do not want FREE two day shipping."

It really agitates me. I wish it didn't bother me so much but it cuts pretty deep sometimes.

2 comments

I think there's a linguistic study in there somewhere, tracking how US commercial culture ended up settling on stilted, awkward, passive-aggressive delivery mixed with robotic Gee-Golly Isn't Everything So GREAT phrasing for all communication with the cattle.

I mostly find it ridiculous. Reminds me of stock phrases used by grubby bureaucrats asking for a bribe. But then just about everything about Amazon (and related automate-everything customer service shops) reminds me of the worst sorts of governmental dysfunction. If what you want is what they want or they have some reason to care about you, things are great. Otherwise, you don't even get indifference; you're literally arguing with a machine.

This is how it went:

Product Manager: And don't forget to add the word free into the copy

Marketer: Make sure you A/B test bold text on some part of the sentence

Copywriter: Preface it with "We are sorry to hear" instead of the simpler "Don't want?" to give it more emotional appeal

Jeff B: Take a deep breath and just imagine what won't change in the next 20 years... OK, f all that, just write whatever the f you need to write so we can sell more stuff