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by DoreenMichele 2552 days ago
Then you really need to consider that it's probably not as simple as "she has x disease and needs the right antibiotic."

My best understanding: parasitic infections tend to thrive due to feeding on detritus from other infections and persistent infection in spite of multiple treatments probably means she's being reinfected on a regular basis.

My chronic infections did not begin to improve until I informed my then spouse "You are never touching me again without a condom because I think you are reinfecting me." following a conversation with a friend who was a physician. He had minored in parasitology and I believed I had an undiagnosed parasitic infection. He said it was plausible, given what I was going through.

That was a major turning point in my health. After nearly a year of being at death's door, the very next round of antibiotics stabilized me and I began gradually getting better.

Prior to that, I went through two periods a few months apart of needing new antibiotics every single time I ran out for 10 or 12 weeks. Nothing was really working.

The months in between? I was bedridden, sleeping 18 to 20 hours a day and probably having a lot less sex than usual. (But I honestly just don't remember how often I was having sex during that awful, awful time. I mostly remember hallucinating conversations with The Grim Reaper.)

(Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. I am not a doctor. I don't play one on TV.)

1 comments

So was your spouse reinfecting you?
I believe so.

Of course, I can't prove it and I find the question flabbergasting given that I already stated that insisting on condoms was fairly promptly followed by my condition stabilizing and improving.

For the record: I eventually divorced him. I've been celibate for medical reasons for over 14 years, in part because men I dated could not follow the simple instruction to bring a damn condom for health reasons and I was too sick and vulnerable to get up and walk out like I should have. After the third well-educated idiot pulled this on me, I vowed to myself I would be celibate until I was well, basically.

I've gotten off all drugs. I'm gradually putting in more hours on freelance work. I'm mostly healthy when doctors said that was not ever going to happen.

But that's enough about my (utter lack of a) sex life.

I'm not trying to be snarky or insensitive, but is it really that hard for a woman to find a casual sex partner who will use a condom when asked? Surely you could browse the profiles on OKC (where you can see much longer profiles and get a much better idea of someone's personality before meeting them) and find someone suitable. A lot of guys might not say right on their profile that they're available for "short term dating" or "hookups" because they think it looks bad, but they'll probably be happy to take you up on the offer if you ask directly.

Again, sorry for the unsolicited advice, and congratulations on becoming healthy again.

A. I did say "in part." (Among other things) I also eventually concluded that celibacy was the best policy for my own health. Semen isn't the only way germs get traded.

B. This is an overwhelmingly male forum. While I'm quite comfortable blathering on about all kinds of personal things that give other people the heebie-jeebies, it's my general policy to not discuss my sex life here in a way that actively encourages such interest in me.

Suffice it to say, I'm really not in any need of dating advice. My remarks were pertinent to a meaningful discussion of health and that's the only thing I'm interested in discussing here.

You're my hero, Doreen. Thanks for talking about this stuff
>I'm not trying to be snarky or insensitive, but

oh boy, this is how you're starting this comment?

>is it really that hard for a woman...

facepalm. be mindful of your privilege. this isn't a helpful comment from the start. If you find yourself starting lots of conversations this way, I suggest taking a long reassessment on what your goals are when holding dialogue on the internet.