[WordSkill]

> Not harassing women is not enough. > >Now more than ever, we need men to support women–not overlook or avoid them.

They have got to be joking.

If you care about your career, your family and your reputation, you simply do not leave yourself open to even the slightest possibility of being falsely accused of anything, or having someone suddenly “remember” something in ten or twenty years time if you reach the top levels of your industry.

Like it or not, we are back to Victorian rules. At work, you never allow yourself to be alone with a female colleague. You do not strike up casual conversations that could be misconstrued. You do not offer them a lift home. Most importantly, you do not become their mentor, friend, emotional support, or anything beyond polite, respectful, professional interactions directly related to work.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous, but our culture has changed. There is an insatiable appetite for scalps, accusations are considered proof, and there is no sign of sanity or reason entering the equation anytime soon. With such potential to rip your life apart, the only sane move is to firewall yourself.

[inflatableDodo]

>Like it or not, we are back to Victorian rules. At work, you never allow yourself to be alone with a female colleague.

Even the Victorians, for the most part, weren't actually this mental.

[timavr]

But a result, you treat them unfairly vs male colleagues.

Also same logic can be applied to any minority who is not in power.

I can’t be in room with black, trans-gender, gay, immigrants etc.

So as result the only people who you built relationships are white straight dudes which get promoted.

[luckylion]

> Also same logic can be applied to any minority who is not in power.

No, not really. There are basically zero (published) incidents where, for example, a black guy claims somebody else insulted him when they were alone. For trans women (not f2m, as far as I know), it gets dicey as well.

And you're certainly right: you'll treat them differently, which may be unfair to them, but risk you career to treat them fairly? I doubt that a lot of people will choose fairness to others over their future.

[alphabettsy]

What? Even my local news has had stories about black people claiming they were called racial slurs or subjected to racist jokes at work. Google “GM plant racism” for a national story, of Tesla, or Chrysler. It’s been an issue at all in the last few years.

[luckylion]

Sorry, I didn't mean to say there isn't any racism, I meant it's not a he-said-she-said-situation that can end careers without any evidence of wrongdoing.

The Toledo plant sounds very different from that, with "whites only" signs and nooses (and management tolerating it). The men who are not mentoring women for the reasons stated in the article certainly don't openly insult and harass them, because that would end their careers much, much quicker than mentoring them and being falsely accused of inappropriate behavior.

[alphabettsy]

People care significantly less about racism which is why it doesn’t often end careers, but instead leads to sensitivity training or an apology. In many, probably most, cases it’s exactly he-said-she-said because people aren’t usually stupid/arrogant enough to leave physical proof of their racism.

[luckylion]

> People care significantly less about racism which is why it doesn’t often end careers

Exactly, that's all I said. The he-said-she-said isn't enough to have severe consequences, hence few people are uncomfortable to meet 1:1 with a minority.

[timavr]

Well that’s why people in power and leadership roles make big bucks.

They must make sure that everyone performs to the max of their ability and at the same time limit risks.

Otherwise it is work discrimination light.

[snovv_crash]

If one person's unverified accusation can completely ruin the life of someone else, who really has the power here?