[_cerv]

Personal experience is that high intensity exercise mixed with a comforting ritual was what broke me out of a couple bouts of severe depression. When the streak was broken by an event or travel, and several days missing out on exercise followed, I would fall back into the depressive mood.

The most recent depressive bout was probably the most extreme I've gone through, and required a couple close friends to jump in, but again, routine exercise with comfortable bits of a routine mixed in - like making a cup of tea, making sure I have a podcast queued up, a book to read, and a handful of songs I like - has seemed to help pull me from the brink.

Now that I have eclipsed thirty years and I still am over 300 lbs, and some of the recent depression-like feelings, I am making a more of a cognisant action to keep working at this and to journal how I feel before, during, and after the routine.

I look forward to seeing this kind of work being taken a little more seriously as a means to treat depression as opposed to only medication and therapy.

[pfortuny]

I only have to congratulate you for having "close friends" who "jump in". That is a great part of my keeping my mood stable lately (I have also a couple of friends who are not afraid to "jump in" and help me out).

Hope you keep them and keep safe!

[hazz99]

As someone who wants to be there for my friends, what does this mean? What does "jumping in" entail?

I assume it means continuing to be social, helping out, and encouraging the person in question to "get out of their bubble", so to speak.

I haven't had personal experience with the harsher side of depression, so I'm not sure what is effective (on my part).

[zolthrowaway]

Please don't do that. Very often depressed people are incredibly aware that they aren't being social and they're stuck in a rut. Just be a friend. Just based off wanting to help, you already seem like a good one. Check in on them from time to time. Just a simple text occasionally can mean a lot. Ask them how they are. Be prepared to not get non-answers. Be prepared to be walled out sometimes. If they ever want to talk, be there to listen. That will help a ton. Just be there for them.

Depression is a real bitch. It manifests itself differently in everyone. Perhaps coaxing someone to see a therapist, go out or whatever would actually help them. But that's not going to be true for everyone and the coaxing may do more damage than good if it's unprompted. If they express interest in anything (e:g; going to a movie, seeing a therapist, going to the gym), that can be a good time to give them a small nudge. I hope your friends find some light in their tunnels.

[AlexTWithBeard]

social, helping out, and encouraging the person in question to "get out of their bubble"

Interestingly, it's often exactly the opposite that's needed: just be there and listen.

[wiz21c]

I second this. What I expect from someone to help is : just listen and show compassion. Compassion in its literal sense means : "suffer with". I don't ask people to suffer, but just to be with me inside my suffering, ie, recognize that I suffer, recognize that this suffering is true, and that staying in that suffering for a while is ok. By not acting, one comfort the other in its own view of the world, make him at peace with it.

Once that bond has been made, then one can start to work on improving things.

All of this requires time and a lot of energy.

[smaddox]

I've learned a tremendous amount about how to be a better friend by reading "Daring Greatly", "The Science of Trust", and "12 Rules for Life", as well as from how my friends and family have helped me when I'm down.

Verbally expressing your love and support for your friend, and helping them see the positive aspects of their self, their situation, and the world around them can go a long way. If you can get them to talk about their views, and help them see when they're stuck in unproductive negative self-talk, that can be truly eye opening. Help them love themselves. Encourage them to come on a walk or run or other exercise with you; don't force them or over pressure them, but say that you promise they'll feel better.

[pfortuny]

Make sure to be there, available and listening. Not judge -ever. Stay ready. Make them know that you are available.

[amelius]

Speaking about friends, a great way to improve mood is to simply spend time with them.

Sitting alone behind a computer screen every night and weekend is asking for problems.

[readingnews]

It is quite difficult to "make friends". Real friends, who will "jump in", and not just mock you when you say one emotional thing like "I am sad". It is nearly impossible to make friends when you are starting to get older (like 40+)... I can not imagine what it is like if you are depressed and have no friends. How do those people get help?

[n0tme]

We go to bars and drink with strangers.

[GuB-42]

But what can "close friends" do? Real question.

My understanding is that real clinical depression is not the kind of "feeling down" we all experience at some point or another. That's not something you fix by just having a drink, talk a bit, or go to a party.

It is more like the absence of feelings. Depressive people are more likely to take the least resistance path to everything you try to do. Want them to go out, they will follow you. Want them to talk, they will answer your questions. Leave them alone, they will stay where they are. In fact I know someone with severe depression who didn't even have physical feelings (like hunger, pain, cold, sleepiness, etc...).

[bpyne]

Lack of exercise causes me a mixture of depression and anxiety. In a society in which we engineered physical challenge out of our lives, it's no wonder a segment of the population experiences depression.

[ddorian43]

Can you explain what you did with high intensity exercising ?

Were you diagnosed by a professional psychiatrist ?

[_cerv]

I was diagnosed as a teenager and prescribed Zoloft. I hated the medication because intrusive thoughts would spiral from “what if I jumped infront of this car” to “what if I locked the doors of this grocery store and set it ablaze”. So I stopped taking it and got fat.

As for high intensity, I’m sure that my use of the term isn’t correct, but I do something that raises my heart to 165+ for 30 seconds, keep my heart at 130, do something to spike it after 5 minutes and repeat until tired. I’ve been able to recently accomplish this reliably on an elliptical at the highest resistance level and maintain activity for 60 to 90 minutes.

After longer sessions I feel pretty good and sometimes a bit euphoric.